Nikon D90, F/8, 1/640 sec, 200 mm (Nikkor AFS 2.8ED 80-200), CP filter, hand held, Oak Island, NC, USA. ©2012 Miles A Moody All Rights Reserved. Written and photographic works may not be reproduced without my written permission.
Continued from Let Freedom Wing
By Miles A Moody
Old habits die hard, they say, which is certainly true of the habits of mind.
Maybe I should return to my car for that camera; what if I miss a great shot? I need that shot to better my life! I’ve trained my mind well through the span of my years to create threat of loss where there is none, a habit of thinking begun early in childhood, I suspect. It is the easy habit of practiced thought that sings me into a fearful slumber so familiar, so predictable; it disappoints me regularly so that I never have to reach the depths in me where courage waits to surmount all risk. The way of fear is best – I must believe this or why else would I tempt myself to abandon what was just begun here for the too sensible mission of camera retrieval. I catch myself; it’s only belief, only as true as I make it, so I put away this belief in need and level my gaze upon the horizon, the surf still lapping at my feet. This siren’s song I surrender to now that I know which singer I can trust. I give the ocean’s pulse upon the beach all my attention and follow it into an alternate reality. I heed the call and though all else around me appears the same, it feels differently – I feel differently. The beach of my inner world is a treasure trove of feeling; where so recently there was self-doubt, I know now what it is to be held in the arms of trust and to feel true hope inside me. I realize that I’ve just made a choice in this moment to allow what my prior thinking precluded; I’ve delved open-heartedly into that hope; I’ve allowed new possibility to surface – new possibility in how to experience me as I am, here now. I feel something truly amazing; I feel acceptable. It’s a love that takes me by the hand in a promise to show me how to go deeper still into this magical allowance. My mind might feel threatened, but my heart knows the truth. Who I think I am won’t endure the passage. But there’s a feeling deep within me of who I can become. That’s what I choose – that me, indeed.