I remember, now.
I’d forgotten how it feels
for your heart to beat just that little bit faster
when the phone beep-beeps…
When you leave it sitting on your desk
for a few minutes
savouring that feeling that it is probably him…
and then feeling the smile break involuntarily
when it is.
whispering in your ear
as the bike roars
and the wind rushes past your face
and you hold onto his strong back
flying into the night
under the wide-open star-speckled skies…
I’d forgotten the way your heart squeezes
when a week later,
the phone lies silent
hours after you’ve asked a question…
How you go over every conversation
searching for the moment when
and finding nothing.
And searching again.
And remembering all the things that told you
that he cared.
And feeling your heart tighten even more.
So now that I remember,
I wait for the forgetting.
Thank you all for your support, for your virtual hugs, and for letting me know that I’m not the only one…
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