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i built you a coffin and filled it with paper cranes

i started with a tree
one that i always imagined would be ours
with our initials carved in
and two perfect branches
for us to sit together

and i cut it down
into smaller pieces
stripping it of its bark,
stripping it of its protection

and i worked on it
through the hours i wish i had spent
with you
i tried to make it
as beautiful as that dream you had
with the ice and the armor

i lined it with silk,
the kind that made the dress you liked
the one with the black lace
and the satin tie
that matched the necklace your bought me
perfectly

and when it was done, i had to fill it
with so many things
everything
but you

you werent dead
your dreams were

i filled the coffin with
a million paper stars
i folded for you
each one, an honest wish

and a thousand paper cranes
with their wings spread,
waiting for you to fly

and the notes, the letters you gave me
so long ago
that i held onto for so long
but they didnt mean anything anymore
not like they used to

i filled it with pictures of the details
that made our days special
and turning oak leaves
from that day in late august,
and black converse with pink and black checkered laces
the ones i had to stand tip toe on
just to hug you

and finally, i added the dust and ashes
of all the memories i burned
the late nights crying
the lazy afternoons waiting
the morbidly red mornings when i wished i wouldnt have woken up

all these things kept me up
for so many nights

but no more.

the silk is soft, smooth
against my small feet
and the stars and cranes
collapse under me
and the dust fill my lungs
the ashes clinging to my eyelashes

and the darkness clinging to my sight.

i built you a coffin and filled it with paper cranes

midnightramen

Joined July 2010

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