I read about this guy who cut through the skin, muscle, tendons and bone of his own arm with a pen knife to free himself when he was trapped between a rock and a hard place.
Imagine cutting off your own arm.
Imagine doing that to save yourself.
Just stop and think about that for a moment.
Hold that thought.
Don’t glance over to the TV at the other side of the room or whatever or whoever you hold most dear that’s snoozing on the sofa.
Just think about THAT for a moment.
Could you do that?
Could you make that choice?
Would you choose that future over dying by inches? Waiting for the maggots and the rats.
I look at myself in the mirror and it’s like a crystal ball:
No; more like an MRI scanner:
All of the bad things that are wrapped up inside of me and boil to the surface every now and then are visible and I can see what my destiny is.
This disease, which took my father and ruined my mother, can not be beaten.
I have no other option.
There is no alternative.
That’s why I’m sitting here now.
The view is to die for: the wind pushes gently against my back and tousles my hair while the ground draws my eyes toward it.
I can taste my own fear and smell its scent.
Oh to be shatter’d and sunder’d: I wish I had the courage of the six hundred; but I’ve barely got the courage to do this.
I feel sorry for the people who’ll have to clear up the mess ‘cos it’s a shitty job; but ultimately it doesn’t change a thing.
I have to do what I have to do.
I will not come thro’ the jaws of death: I will not come back from the mouth of hell.
No more worries about cancer, high blood pressure or cholesterol:
This is all I have to offer.
All that is left of me: commits to this…
Sent from my iPhone
It wasn’t so very long ago that a message took days to travel a relatively short distance: now we live truly in the digital age: where we live out every aspect of our lives on line: where everyone knows everything about us as and when it happens:
We have digital friends who we have never met… and are unlikely to meet:
We find wives and husbands on line:
We Tweet, Facebook and MySpace the minutiae of our lives, post up pictures of the inside of our homes, loves and pets:
Blogs have replaced diaries as a place to air our deepest innermost thoughts and share our darkest bleakest hours:
Some people kill themselves while streaming their last moments to the outside world, while other people have sex in front of their web cams: There is literally no boundary which has not been crossed in the digital age.
In the digital age we have the ability to buy things we didn’t even know we wanted, gamble at 3am with a virtual room full of card players from the four points of the compass, and pretend that we are we are enjoying ourselves.
My entry for Star Twister 66