Tradition

Author: MickyMc
Word Count: 248
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Following in their fathers’ footsteps, cousins, Kevin and Stuart lugged their heavy duty sea fishing gear down the floating landing.
Stuart’s brother Gavin worked for the river police; that was how they got access to the jetty, and how they got to hear about the eel.

They set up, cracked open their cans, and settled down for the night.
One of Gavin’s mates brought them over two cups of hot Bovril and they waited.

Kevin got a bite and tried to reel it in, but it was just too strong.
“Fucking hell Kevin; it must be massive!”
Jointly unable to land it; they had to tie the line off on the railing.

The commotion brought some of the lads out from the little river police office at the end of the jetty.
The eel kept the line taut and still; they usually thrashed around when they were hooked.

A pleasure boat passed with its cargo of revellers, its gaily coloured lights lit up the water and Kevin’s taught, wet, still line.
It was then they realised they were not fighting an eel, but a piece of flotsam and the current.

The cops scrambled the launch to remove the hazard to river traffic, and fished out the body of a young Caucasian man in his twenties.
No distinguishing marks, or any form of identification.

Further up the river a streetwise 2nd generation Cockney was pondering how to deal with the next suitor her parents lined up for her.

Tradition

Star Twister Week 6 photo prompt

Winner of Week 6

Tradition belongs to the following groups:

All Things Poetic, Prose, Philosophical., Atheism, Hardcore Punk, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales and Writers' Market

WanderingAuthor, 2 months ago

I didn’t see that coming at all! I thought the eel was going to pull a surprise. Then, I figured the twist was just that he’d hooked a body. Remind me to avoid any arranged marriages. :-D
WanderingAuthor, 2 months ago

PS: I like the echo here; your title, Tradition, the fact Kevin and Stuart are following in their father’s footsteps, then, at the end, your streetwise 2nd generation Cockney is fighting tradition. It maintains a theme with some tension to it.
markgb, 2 months ago

Ah shit, didn’t see that coming at all.
great ending
Miri, 2 months ago

that’s a good one! i did wonder if they’d hooked a body but the last sentence made it a satisfying twist :-)
Lesley Hill, 2 months ago

I love this and was surprised as well! Great work again! ;-)
Debbie King, 2 months ago

Oh, good one! I love the ending! It rocks =)
Empress, 2 months ago

or is she wondering how many more suitors it will take (and the cash/credit cards in their wallets) before she can afford a ticket to Rio?
Craig Mowat, 2 months ago

I like the common thread of the characters lineage, too. Good twist.
Zolton, 2 months ago

I love the last sentence. I kinda pictured her sitting there picking chicken out of her teeth after a nice big meal. Poor guy.
MickyMc in reply to WanderingAuthor’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks WA. I wanted the body to throw people off the scent for the final twist! I enjoyed trying to work in the differing perspectives on tradition. it was hard to go back to the same picture and start again from scratch; but I think it worked out okay!
MickyMc in reply to markgb’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks I’m glad I fooled ya!
Cheers
Micky
MickyMc in reply to Miri’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, I wanted to drop a few more hints about the body, to throw people totally off the scent, but they went when I trimmed it down!
MickyMc in reply to Lesley Hill’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Lesley; glad you enjoyed it.
MickyMc in reply to Debbie King’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Debbie!
Cheers
Micky
MickyMc in reply to Empress’s comment, 2 months ago

Well obviously it would be a shame to waste all those cards and the cash! Perhaps that could be a sequel ; ) Now if someone wants to pay the plane tickets for me to go and do the research in Rio; I’m sure I can free up the time!
MickyMc in reply to Craig Mowat’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Craig, I enjoyed writing the contrasting takes on tradition. Glad you liked it. Cheers Micky
MickyMc in reply to Zolton’s comment, 2 months ago

If I can’t get any tickets for Rio I’ll settle for a free meal!
I’ll pass on the chicken though.
I think you and Empress are giving me some great ideas for an expanded version!
Paul Rees-Jones, 2 months ago

LOL, I saw the the body, but you got me with the woman…excellent!
Alison Pearce, 2 months ago

You got me, hook, line and sinker!! Great story Micky!
MickyMc in reply to Paul Rees-Jones’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Paul, glad that you liked it.
Cheers
Micky
MickyMc in reply to Alison Pearce’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Alison; hook, line and sinker… glad I reeled you in with this one!
Cheers
Micky
Natella2020, 2 months ago

I thought I had commented on this one already! My mistake. Your tale was nicely written, I’ve always loved your hand at details, and that last sentence was very satisfying.
MickyMc in reply to Natella2020’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad that you liked it, and that you enjoyed the twist
brutusB3, 2 months ago

Clever ending and nice take on the photo prompt although the story line seemed a bit choppy to me. The details and essence of the story were creative, but the sentences together didn’t seem to flow too well. I think you could have added a few more details in places other than where you had them while taking out some that did not contribute to the story. (You mentioned you had trimmed down details relating to the body? Maybe those?)

-b
MickyMc, 2 months ago

Glad that you like the ending at least!
Where there is a 250 word limit you can only paint in so much of the picture, and have to leave the rest to imagination, or perception of the reader.
Cheers
Micky
coppertrees, 2 months ago

Great job Micky you got me
PennyEdwardes, 2 months ago

Very clever! Love the twist…..well done!
wwROBERTLFOXcom, 2 months ago

Nice to see someone that knows a little about fishing. I knew it was going to be about murder, because that is how most of the twisted tales go… I suppose the world is becoming more civilized and people are personally reluctant to us violence as a problem solving technique, so perhaps it is satisfying to read about characters that decide to cross the devil’s line.

Poison ‘Ivy’ was a surprise!
MickyMc in reply to coppertrees’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Vickie, nice to catch a few people with the twist!
Cheers
Micky
MickyMc in reply to PennyEdwardes’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks glad you liked it!
MickyMc in reply to wwROBERTLFOXcom’s comment, 2 months ago

i think it’s always more fun to tread on the wrong side of the tracks when you write. That said I don’t kill everyone in my stories, some of them even live happily ever afterwards!
Cheers
Micky
adgray, 2 months ago

Good one Micky :O)