Table Manners

When I arrive home I am sticky from beer, sweat, jagermeister, and too many eyes. I am exhausted by eyes, and semi-frequently, hands. Many men find it difficult to understand that we are new acquaintances.

When a waitress is taking your drink order, it is not customary to place your hand on the small of her back.

Nor does it belong on her hip when you’re passing by her.

Your eyes do not need to linger longer than a second or two on her breasts or her ass, because there’s not that much of them, and she knows you’ve already taken them in.

At the end of the night, she does not want to have a few drinks with you at your apartment or come back to your place and talk about that ‘Catcher in the Rye’ book that sits unopened on your shelf, because this isn’t her first rodeo and you’re not a particularly good looking cowboy.

She feels dirty.

And poor, because lord knows she doesn’t get tipped past midnight when everyone decides they’re too drunk to tip.

At the end of the night I want to step into the shower, stand under the water with my head down so I don’t drown, and feel


I’m full of it.

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  • Eric  David Lough
    Eric David Loughover 4 years ago

    haha nice. very nice. E.D.L

  • Christie  Moses
    Christie Mosesover 4 years ago

    oh wow! I totally know this one!! Awesome write x

  • galaticos
    galaticosover 4 years ago

    Yep, so do I…… being a former bartender I learned the public tends to think they’re buying everything……… Cool write……..

  • Rocky Loder
    Rocky Loderover 4 years ago

    so cool..awesome..

  • acquaridan
    acquaridanover 4 years ago

    That was Awesome!! I’d say you’ve earnt a long hot shower after a night like that and tips should extend well and truly past the midnight hour!!

  • CeriseNoire
    CeriseNoireover 4 years ago

    Been there…..and you express it so very well!! xx

  • Andrew  Bailey
    Andrew Baileyover 4 years ago

    Nicely said and so true. We men can have wandering hands and deserved all we get when we overstep thee bounds. I feel for you.

  • George Coombs
    George Coombsover 4 years ago

    excellent writing expressing the mood extremely well, I wondered if in the future it might form part of something longer e.g. a story where this passage might lead into a plot of some time. Great work and a favrite for me

  • mekarpan
    mekarpanover 4 years ago

    Thanks guys. This is sort of celebratory, tonight is my last night at my cocktailing job.

  • AngieX4567
    AngieX4567over 4 years ago

    Good job getting the mood across

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