He had tried to quit so many times, and failed. She had stayed on him, talking rehab and life and how much they could accomplish together, if only he had more strength to fight his desires. He had been resentful of this, and maybe he had slapped her once or twice. He wasn’t sure he had, but she kept telling him, and others, he had, so he really wasn’t too sure anymore.
Last night was a real kicker, though. He had awakened from a stupor and was startled to find a priest kneeling beside him, giving him last rites, for pete’s sake! The idea that he had been mistaken for dead really opened his eyes. That high just didn’t seem to be worth it. He had gone all day shaking and sick at his stomach, but so far, he was cleaner than he had been in five years.
Patricia would be waiting there at home, she would help him through this. She was going to be so glad to see him make it!
It was late when he finally could make the trip home, and he could barely open the door, his key scratching the surface of the door as his hands shook. He was slightly irritated she had not left the porch light on. It would have been a lot easier.
The door finally squeaked open, and he stepped inside, grateful for the familiar smell of home. He called her name, but no there was no answer. Could she have left him? She was always threatening to. Where the hell was she? It was late and she should have been here to share the news that he was ready to go on with life, he would go to the damned rehab, give up all those good times with his so-called friends. She was always bitching about them, anyway. Damn woman always trying to control him.
Here he was, all ready to quit having a good time and spend his time playing husband, taking out the trash, even getting and keeping a job. He could pass the drug test after a little while in rehab. She would like that, he thought, growing angrier by the minute. Get a job and make some money. That’s all she talked about, all the things they could buy if he would just give up his habits.
Didn’t she realise how much he needed to get away from her yapping about all that crap? Where the hell was she? Frustrated, he went from room to room, looking for her. She wasn’t home. Was she out with another man? Ready to kick him out, was she? And here he was, quitting! How dare she?
Two hours later, she walked through the door. An hour after that, the police were there. The neighbors had called and complained about a loud arguement, followed by silence.
When the police arrived, Joe was sitting on the toilet, arm tied off, needle still hanging to his skin. Patricia was lying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor.
Thirty minutes later, they were both dead. The priest was offering last rites to her when she expired.
It was too late for Joe…
Joe
What does it take to finally quit an addiction?
Dayonda, 3 months ago
Good one. I expected to find Patricia already dead, and was mad as h** at Joe. You caught me by surprise!
Miri, 3 months ago
great stoy Debbie, nice pace & good ending!
i wondered if you need the ‘both dead’ just before the final sentence…cos it’s implied so well by the last sentence & leaves you hanging
also it might help the reader to have some spaces between paras…i know it’s a RB thing when uploading writing (which always gets me too!)....adds a bit more drama!
your stuff just gets better & better! :-)
Debbie King in reply to Dayonda’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks, Dayonda. I was pretty mad at Joe, too. What a selfish pig!
=)
Debbie King in reply to Miri’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks, Miri! I did a little re-editing, and it might make it all a bit more palatable. I noticed a few spots where it didn’t all match up like it should.
I have trouble mostly when I start the stories, and hit a dead spot and walk away. I spend a while wandering, then have to go and delete most of the story and catch up from somewhere in the middle.
Glad I am improving, though! The feedback really helps me so much!
Miri, 3 months ago
just re read – think that works better & the spacing def helps!...i’m glad it was too late for Joe!
Debbie King, 3 months ago
Well, he had his chance early on ;)
I wanted to show him as he was, wanting to change when he felt it suited him, but falling down before falling off the wagon when the first little twist was thrown into his plans.
So glad it was easier to digest this time =)
iffymood, 2 months ago
awesome, I never saw that coming at all, love your endings, you always get to surprise me.
Debbie King, 2 months ago
Glad I surprise you, Leanne, and that you like my attempts at writing :) I never did short stori befor this! I am overwhelmed that others like this =)
WanderingAuthor, 2 months ago
I thought she was dead when he first came home – I never saw that coming. A sad story, but one with a good lesson in it. If you want to change, you need to really change, when it counts, or it won’t work. For someone who has never done short stories before, you impress me! You’ve got what it takes, and more!