Jealousy in the sanctuary of sleep

I had this dream…. I was walking down the dark alley of an alternate reality
It was filled with people in costumes who felt that they had to battle me
I wanted to simply inquire why? But their silence beat it out of me
Infant like in the way I let it rattle me
To be “trick or treating” with the grown in childish masks that are tattling
I know that I shouldn’t care and most of the time it’s not mattering
But I bleed into metaphors from my life, who do you think you are to send it splattering?
It’s not a groundbreaking revelation that people shit, but it felt shattering
Because unlike masks, words are inked permanent—-
They are tattooing
I just want the sweetness like you, candy compliments from strangers I’m borrowing
But the truth is poisoned apples aren’t harder to take in when it comes to swallowing
And I’m forced to digest it through broken-promised whispers from your friends while arguing
I put my soul into my suit only to have you run around the neighborhood tarnishing
If you can do that to a shiny mask, what can you say about what is beneath the varnishing?
It’s taken me this long to get an anchor in the ground, to share the self I’ve been harboring
I leave myself in these lines to grow and sail I’m not sure why anyone would get defensive as if I’m armoring
Some people act like they’ve been behind you all along, and then turn their back for having following
As they back bite right in front of you, turn the other cheek because there are other wars you will face that are far more harrowing
And know, that in this life there will always be some people who doubt your sincerity and allow jealously to become hollowing

Sometimes silence and broken whispers are louder than shouting
…and it’s hard for me to choose between waiving and wandering
But falling off one’s hill can’t stop me from climbing mountains
I leave smarter knowing the difference between wavering and pondering

So I’ll play a ghost with a sheet moving through the streets silently praying and “tomorrowing”
Knowing that outside of the sanctuary of sleep I face harder battles that are far more sorrowing

Jealousy in the sanctuary of sleep

S .

Joined January 2009

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much love
shoaib

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