Damaged Goods

I breathe. I bathe. Hot water because I’m cold; so cold, alone, and afraid
Relieved that I lived. Retreat into my mind, I was told… I should be thankful to be alive
Anger. Anguish. I relinquished myself to be saved; my safe place – alone in cave
I caved when they came and I lay there ashamed, tainted name as the only thing left to blame
Trade my life with yours, a picture perfect as the only thing I had left to frame
Bound to myself trying to maintain this charade; I lived because I only had myself to save
Languid language. Diminished. Down, out, and finished like I was just a game to play
So I crashed into you like a tide in hopes you would accept me that way, but instead you just waved me away
Left alone after that tirade, lonely and lame like the dirtiest stain that can’t be washed away
I looked up at the clock display, tick tock fade to gray, I watched as the clock ticked night to day
Vivid and vivacious now livid and nameless, chilled to the bone by a breeze blown to be swayed
Confused… I once again reclused into pain, repeating “please don’t rescue that which refuses to be saved”
No excuse for the fear of being afraid, I was profuse in tears sipping booze, bruised and scathed
But I didn’t need anyone else to take my pain, besides who would want something half insane
Half in strapped to the pain covered with makeup and laughs like I was only half of brave…..

So I turned to a passion and picked myself up like a maid; done with the pain like ash in tray
Because I had only known what was promised would never last and stay, a lesson costing my heart as the pay
Till you came my way and showed me I didn’t need to mask the blame, so I only can ask the same
Can you see past those facts and let me shine for you like the hope for which you’ve asked and prayed?

Because even bruised and maimed; I choose refusing to believe that anyone is branded that way
When you’re used to abuse, it’s true – a personal truce is always the hardest view to take
Then you cared to stay and showed me that I’m no longer damaged goods on display
A misused heart never trusts the same, but mine has forgiven and is willing give in if that’s the choice you choose to make


I’m starting to write this description and I really dont know where to start…. This poem is written from the perspective of an abused/raped woman…

This one was really hard for me to write, but i felt i needed to write one for the beautiful women who show me what real strength looks like. Who go through the pain, who hurt, who suffer, who come out stronger, and for the ones that don’t ….. For the ones I’ve known, loved, lost, and have with me today.

And for anyone who has been through this… much love
And for you… live

Thanks for your comments, favorites, and support…
Shoaib

edited 7/13/12


Comments

  • myREVolution
    myREVolutionover 5 years ago

    this leaves me speechless….
    i love it

  • MrTAH
    MrTAHover 5 years ago

    no words to leave my lips…thank you..tah

  • msdebbie
    msdebbieover 5 years ago

    Consider this a wonderful write, and trust it will be well-received for its compassion and insight from a male perspective. For myself, my favourite line ties into the philosophy please don’t rescue that which refuses to be saved, because it echoes an Alice Sebold line I love in Lucky: you save yourself or you remain unsaved
    Can be hard advice to accept when you want to save someone, or all your intent is good, sincere and pure, but I consider it a truth nonetheless.
    Either way, congrats on posting the poem. It is a good read my friend xoxo

  • Jimmy Joe
    Jimmy Joeover 5 years ago

    excellent..

  • Jason  Grelli
    Jason Grelliover 5 years ago

    good one man
    a good one

  • RebeccaWeston
    RebeccaWestonover 5 years ago

    I know that you spent a long time researching this. You have been very sensitive to how it will perceived and it is all credit to you that you have absorbed and understood so much from people you know, to be able to compose this very telling piece. Excellent Shoaib XX
    Becca

  • KEITH  R. WILLIAMS
    KEITH R. WILLIAMSover 5 years ago

    this so excellent it’s unbelievable

  • PSL1
    PSL1over 5 years ago

    Brilliantly written my friend. your quil seem to find it’s way deep into the human heart and emotions.
    I like this. – Peter

  • micheleirene
    micheleireneover 5 years ago

    Whoa….this is pretty deep and powerful Shoaib and I find it very interesting and amazing for a male to write about this. I have experienced violation on a smaller level myself so this kind of hits home for me. Bravo to you for writting this and sharing it.

  • Hathor
    Hathorover 5 years ago

    Ma, forgiveness is key. had I not learned to forgive every mother f-er that tried to drown me in the hard ass life, I would be nothing. but now? I’m fricking the shizznit! lol

    kickin ass, and takin names, that’s my Shoaibizzy! yeah! bleed that pain, man, let it BLEED! awesome. :) love, ya, K

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