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Ministry Years

For 20 years I slaved
12 hour days, 6 of them a week.
Always out of pocket
Never enough for bills
Let alone a holiday
Always giving, giving & giving
No-one to ever give to me
Under attack, being threatened
Nothing quite seems good enough.
Burned-out & depressed, too much trouble,
Easier to just get rid of me fix “the problem”
Move along, start again
Repeat, repeat, repeat

Even in humility, waiting on God
Was never quite enough
What was I doing, where was I going,
Where are the converts, where is the money?

Sometimes I think I hate the church
For all the pain I still feel,
For the debt I still carry
For the mistrust and the spite,
I choose to forgive & free them
to be all they can become.

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Tags

ministry, service

I am now retired at the early age of 57, this is NOT because I’m so rich that I could afford to do so, but rather because of disability that I could no longer work. This has been a real trial but…

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Comments

  • Olga
    Olgaover 6 years ago

    I think you are just qualified to be called the Follower of Christ! Don’t give up! You have the greatest reward in Heaven!

  • Maximus
    Maximusover 6 years ago

    yeah these things I know in my head, but still processing the pain. :)

  • deliriousgirl
    deliriousgirlover 6 years ago

    Hey dear-forgiveness and letting go is always superior and healthier than carrying around a burden of anger. Don’t know exactly what kind of ministry you were in, but it’s been my experience that the churches are full to the steeples of hypocrites and they’re just run like giant corporations for giant profits these days anyway.

    And hey, if you just wanna blow off steam or rant, sometimes the best therapy in the world can be writing it all down and then just letting it drift away.

    I’m here for you.

    jen

  • OK :)

    – Maximus

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