Scottish Duckbilled Haggis (DBH) T-Shirt

Scottish Duckbilled Haggis (DBH)

Those of you who have never been to Scotland before, will be unfamiliar with the sight of this wee beastie, which is known as the lesser common Duckbilled Haggis, not to be confused with the Highland Common Haggis.
I managed to literally shoot this 72 pounder, on the banks of Loch Stock with two smoking barrels of my shotgun, as he was about to attack a camper, who was washing his undergarments in the aforementioned loch.
The damage caused by the shotgun, looks merely superficial, but I can assure you, that the Duckbilled Haggis can only be killed in this region, as his heart is in his arse, to coin a phrase from Benidorm (Spain).
The Duckbilled Haggis is a water dweller, inhabiting the banks of most freshwater Lochs. Their favourite food is fish, which is fortunate, seeing that they live in water. The DBHs’ protection from the elements, comes in the form of a layer of short hair, or a number one, to the Scots, which is a sought after commodity, as the dried pelt is used by Scottish Gentry rather than the Badger Handbag as used by the peasant folk.
The Scottish DBH is today under threat of extinction, since the introduction of Glaswegian Campers to the Lochs, as the lager content in their urine has contaminated the waters, increasing the alcohol content to over 73%, which causes the DBHs to fight until the looser explodes. A sad reflection on today’s society, I’m afraid.