Haiku is not a commonly known type of poetry. It is a traditional Japanese style noted for its simplicity and minimal use of words to portray an image. They usually follow a 5-7-5 syllable per line structure.
I like writing haiku as well but do not have a lot of success. My creative writing prof. suggested American haiku since it follows a short-long-short, or five word-seven word-five word, sort of format. He was very strict on syllable count if we were going to write strict Japanese haiku. I really enjoyed your crow haiku. It really does evoke a feeling of place, time and season, especially season, without actually mentioning the later. That, he said, was essential. Evoke the season without saying it. I can feel dank, cold evening air, fog-laden, fall-damp, crow-lonely.
I will stop rabbit, or should I say crow, chasing, My point is, the word chilled in the last line is most properly phonetically split and pronounced chil-led. It is a two-syllable word, in which case that line has six syllables, not just five. Oh, how often I got red marks on my papers, even in grade school, for improperly counting syllables, and it was all because of double consonant words. Ah well. ‘Tis only this poet’s opinion. Taken with a bag of salt at the end of the day the sun will still rise on the morrow. A Pox on all persnickety English teachers. Sojourner
Suzanne German, 5 months ago
this sure does conjur up a story – an in-depth one at that!
Dorothy Venter, 5 months ago
So much atmosphere in so few words. Very good.
anaisnais, 5 months ago
Wonderful 5-7-5 Haiku structure with your words painting a picture perfect in the imagination!
Leon Walker, 5 months ago
Man, that’s really something. You can go on forever with that.
Damian, 5 months ago
Great! That really appeals.
Tambala, 5 months ago
Superb haiku – full of atmosphere. I’ve added it to my favourites as I want to come back to this again. Great work Mark!
red addiction, 5 months ago
what is a haiku?
red addiction, 5 months ago
It’s me again. I wanted to say that I did like your work. I’m ignorant when it comes to poetry terms.
Mark Moskvitch in reply to red addiction’s comment, 5 months ago
Marlo,
No worries :)
Haiku is not a commonly known type of poetry. It is a traditional Japanese style noted for its simplicity and minimal use of words to portray an image. They usually follow a 5-7-5 syllable per line structure.
red addiction, 5 months ago
ok good to know. thanks.
Jonathan Hende..., 5 months ago
I have read quite a bit Haiku poetry and this ranks with the best. fantastic!
Gregory John O..., 5 months ago
My favourite Bird. thanks
Mark Moskvitch in reply to Gregory John O'Flaherty’s comment, 5 months ago
John,
Your welcome…I particularly like crows because of their long history of ties to mythology.
Melissa Beaupre, 5 months ago
its touching
Melissa Beaupre, 5 months ago
I also have a poem called the crow feel free to check it out if u have an interest in crows
sojourner0401, 4 months ago
I like writing haiku as well but do not have a lot of success. My creative writing prof. suggested American haiku since it follows a short-long-short, or five word-seven word-five word, sort of format. He was very strict on syllable count if we were going to write strict Japanese haiku. I really enjoyed your crow haiku. It really does evoke a feeling of place, time and season, especially season, without actually mentioning the later. That, he said, was essential. Evoke the season without saying it. I can feel dank, cold evening air, fog-laden, fall-damp, crow-lonely.
I will stop rabbit, or should I say crow, chasing, My point is, the word chilled in the last line is most properly phonetically split and pronounced chil-led. It is a two-syllable word, in which case that line has six syllables, not just five. Oh, how often I got red marks on my papers, even in grade school, for improperly counting syllables, and it was all because of double consonant words. Ah well. ‘Tis only this poet’s opinion. Taken with a bag of salt at the end of the day the sun will still rise on the morrow. A Pox on all persnickety English teachers. Sojourner
Mark Moskvitch in reply to sojourner0401’s comment, 4 months ago
Soujourner,
Many thanks for your comments. The point about the word “chilled” got me thinking…
In Australian English, it is pronounced as one syllable, so I consulted my old friend, the syllable counter at
http://www.wordscount.info/hw/syllable.jsp
which counts it as one….phew!! Had me worried…. :)
P.S. The syllable counter site is VERY useful for anyone pursuing Haiku.
CDCcreative, 4 months ago
Beautiful Haiku. You have captured the mood well.
ELENNE BOOTHE, 4 months ago
amazing writing. keep it up.
George Petrovsky, about 1 month ago
he who can find words
which show the essence of thoughts
will never be lost.
Mark Moskvitch in reply to George Petrovsky’s comment, about 1 month ago
George,
Many thanks for your comment and for reading my work…it is only as valuable as it is to those who read it.
Mark