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marilittlebird

Austin, United States

I write to free the words that haunt me. / I play music to free the passion in my heart / I feel the joy, when I stand next you / I...

will not hide my SHINE today

Someone told me the other day I was addicted to the feeling of " GUILT", of course this is after I told her she’s addicted to sadness. Instead of disagreeing with her, I paused, then admitted she was right.

I don’t know why I feel guitly about things in life or go hunt down the guilt if there is none near by. It’s a strange position to be in now that I’m aware of my feeling and need for “guilt”.

Maybe it’s the constant need for stimulation or that daredevil in me that lurchs just below the surface of my cool laid back façade. I tend to look for trouble when I’m bored. I know, it’s stupid, but it’s true.

But now what? Now that I know, that I’m aware?

I am sort of tired of living under this umbrella of untested guilt. I want to live in the sunshine and accept things as the roll off the rainbow.

I beleive the first step is to not edit myself today and just be me, but always in good taste, of course. I don’t think it’s an excuse to be rude or ill wil because I don’t process that way. I mean, I think I need to accept the good and the bad as it comes.

I will not hide my SHINE today, promise you that.

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