Rhymes of the Times

Little Miss Muffet Sat on Her Tuffet
Eating Her Curds and Whey
A Spider Commented on her Weight
Now She Eats Nothing All Day

Tom Tom the Pipers Son
Stole a Pig and Away did Run
Silly Boy, He Used a Gun
Serving His Bacon in Prison

Wee Willy Winky
Runs through the town
Collecting all the Money
When you Lay your Bets Down

Mary Mary Quite Contrary
How Does your Garden Grow
With Hydroponics and Heated Lights
The Cops will Surely Show

Georgie Porgy Puddin’ and Pie
Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry
Caught for Using Date Rape Drugs
Doing Time with All the Thugs

Jack and Jill went up the Hill
To Fetch a Pail of Water
Jack Fell Down with a Broken Crown
Jill Accused of His Slaughter

Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub
What Do you Think They Are?
Members of a Terrorist Club
Locked up for Bombing a Bar

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester
In a Shower of Rain
Misdiagnosed a Patient
Who Suffers Severe Pain

Row row row your Boat
Gently down the Stream
Don’t get stuck in the Mud
Because Waters but a Dream

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had a Wife but couldn’t Keep Her
Made Her Life a Living Hell
Now He’s Locked in a Dungeon Cell

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a Corner
Diagnosed on the Border
of an unknown Disorder

Ding Dong Dell
Pussy in the Well
Who can make her Better
A Group called PETA

Hey Diddle Diddle
The Cat and the Fiddle
Conned by a Riddle
From the Man in the Middle

When These Rhymes
In Certain Climes
Turn into Crimes
It’s “The Sign of the Times”

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bored and crimes