Margaret Sanderson

I opened the fridge, for the horse raddish sauce,
where a bottle of wine took my reason by force.

The facts were plain, could not dispute:
Santa had left, without his suit.

They slurped and burped through the conversation,
which was heard by most of the diner population.

She was ‘parked’ in a corridor, with only a sheet
to cover her bits, and keep in the heat.

She put on the dress, with the crisp white lace,
and the matching gloves, that came up to her face,

After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed.
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply.
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

She opened the door, and shouted his name,
then she ventured outside. Was he playing a game?

“Hmm..” said the Doc, “what biscuits are these?
Are they chocolate, or plain, or the ones with the cheese?”

“It’s the wife …” answered Davey, “..she’s about to give birth ..
… pushing and panting for all that she’s worth!”

The pupils had nick-names at Dunn Street School.
Some were quite funny, while others were cruel.

for the evening before, he’d drank way too much,

with King Charles the spaniel, and a boxer called Butch

They swarm into our pubs and shops,
drinking our beer, and eating our chops.

Freddy the frog
had to go to the bog
because his poor bladder was busting.

The vicar was using a small demonstration :-
Two glasses, a worm, and a bored congregation.

If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to our magical wood, see it flattened before your eyes.

You can jump every queue, on the strength of your age,
and you wear polyester, in all kinds of beige.

Until, on a walk along Tadcaster Street,
Ben stumbled, unable to get back on his feet.

Kris’s last job, was just a bit tricky..
collecting bees’ honey was not only sticky,

The cabbie looked thoughtful, for a moment or more,
then said, “I’ve been asked that question before …

Hung Chow Ping woke up depressed
His choice of job was not the best