Interviewer: Thank you so much for allowing us this interview, your Majesty.
Dorothy: The pleasure is all mine. Please ask your questions. Things to do, places to go, you know how it is.
Interviewer: The most important question on everyone’s mind is, of course, why didn’t you return to Kansas when you found the ruby slippers?
Dorothy: Well…. I thought about it, but really, what was there to look forward to? The farm? My parents? Then, a husband, kids and all that. Not the kind of thing to entice you back, is it? Not after all the fun and freedom I had here.
Interviewer: I can see where you’re going with that. So, kids and a husband aren’t on the horizon for you, your Majesty?
Dorothy: Never say never, but, right now I am happy with the status quo. And, seriously, it’s not that easy finding a suitable husband in Oz, is it?
Interviewer: I am sure our readers will be able to come up with some suggestions. We’d be happy to run an ‘eligible bachelors’ contest for you.
Dorothy: Na, you’re all right. I’ll find myself a husband when I need one. For now I am enjoying my new role.
Interviewer: What made you think of taking over the Western Kingdom?
Dorothy: One thing lead to another and once the witch was dead, I felt there was a vacuum, and I thought I could fill it and give the people what they need.
Interviewer: Indeed, I am sure the people are very grateful you took this decision. Another question on our readers’ minds is, what happened to the Tin Man and the Lion. At one time the three of you were quite close, weren’t you?
Dorothy: You know how it is, you fall out with people. Honestly, one more rendition of ‘Over the Rainbow’ and I would have gone insane.
Interviewer: Some people might say it was a bit harsh to turn the Tin Man into scrap metal. Not me, of course, I am sure you were justified.
Dorothy: Maybe it was a bit rash, on the other hand, he was awfully squeaky and his singing voice wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Interviewer: And the Lion? I mean, lion barbecue might be all the rage in your circles, for all I know…
Dorothy: Don’t get me started on the Lion. I mean, personal hygiene was the least of his problems! And his social skills… I think it was the best decision. Much kinder all round. I must admit, he was delicious. The sticky sauce cook added – a delight. I am sure she’ll give you the recipe if you ask nicely.
Interviewer: Sounds fantastic, I’ll be sure to do that so our readers will know what it’s like to dine like royalty.
Dorothy: Do you like what I did with the place? I’ve been very busy redecorating.
Interviewer: I was getting to that. The red against the black is very bold and I am sure it will start a trend.
Okay, I’ve got a reputation to live up to and it doesn’t do for me to sit here chitchatting when I should be in the dungeons.
Interviewer: Thank you so much for your time. A complementary copy of the magazine will be in the post.
© Sybille Sterk
Alternative ending to the Wizard of Oz.
HiDiHo magazine = Oz equivalent of Hello magazine.
No, I have not gone insane. :-) Just having fun.
See the image here: The Witch is Dead!