So my life has changed in the last four weeks, new habits formed, a new way of living with restless nights and dreams that are broken. My house lies full of boxes and the walls echo with every movement. The blankets from Russia and France are packed, the rosaries and icons boxed, clothes have been put into boxes and photographs and memories have been stored. Even my camera lies unused waiting for a new beginning by the sea. I have never felt afraid of being alone…but now I know what it is like to be lonely.
Today I have decided with all my new changes Im going to make the biggest one of all…to kick the habit and start biting my nails instead. Will I miss it..god yes but I miss a lot of things lately so one more isnt going to hurt. I will have an excuse to throw a plate or two, boot the cat and scream down the phone or burst into tears, why did I leave it this long? So farewell the ashtray girl.