Like the heart that weeps when the smile is lost,
Life leaves the earth covered up in frost.
On the coldest day of autumn this year,
The full moon shined so bright and clear.
As Gaia loses colours towards summer’s end,
A rainbow surrounds heaven, where dark and light blend.
Lives once keeping Gaia warm have found a new home.
But when a smile is gone, does joy have a place to roam?
If people can be remembered after their lives pass on,
Could a smile be remembered, even after joy is gone?
137 views as of Dec 3 2011
The past year there have been many things on my mind that I have been struggling to find the words to describe. Last week however, on November 11, 2011, the 11th day, of the 11th month of the 11th year since the millennium, I was finally able to wrap it up. At the time, it was the coldest day of the autumn this year (the first to see frost), but the full moon on that day, surrounded by the rainbow, was beautiful…
Remembrance Day, the day to remember those who have passed – I have thought much about death the past year; people around me getting older and passing on. But I haven’t only been thinking about it in a literal way, but a death of a mind, a passion, a heart… I was there last year; finding myself in a dark place, due to some constant series of unforeseen incidents that fell upon me. I began to lose my passion for art, and dislike the very things that I used to find pleasure in. Looking back it was scary how much I changed…
This year I have begun to rekindle that passion that I lost, but now the problem is the lack of time. So these days instead I’ve been doing more writing. I’ve had a lot to think about and ponder on the past year. There is so much more I wish to share; especially on the themes that I share today, but I will save that for another day, as my mind is still struggling to breath at the moment. I can only hope that before the day I die I will be given that opportunity to share; and that by the time that opportunity comes, I will still be that same person I am today who has the desire to share and create. I can’t promise anything though…
I once read a Japanese story – a true story – about a little girl who transferred to a new school with a kind principal. She loved it there and promised the principal that she would become a teacher at his school. Sadly however, that school got burned during the war and she could not fulfill her promise.
In my current state, though I still live in difficult times, I’m appreciating the little moments, things that I have overlooked when I was in a dark place. My desire to create has come back, and I feel like taking new paths. I am aware, however, of the possibility that I may not succeed, and that I can be depressed again. I may even later deny any feelings I have today; I can become a totally different person – and it doesn’t only depend on me, but any event that occurs around me. I can’t promise that I will stay the same because I am a human born to make mistakes. In case I change in the future, the person I am today hopes that those around me would remember the way I am right now; the way a person who has passed would be remembered and cherished – as long as those around me themselves don’t change by then…
I will still be absent from RB in the weeks that follow; I will catch up on the comments – I just won’t be uploading anything new in a while. But at least I got to share some of my thoughts today (just in case I really never get that chance!), and hope to come back eventually in one piece to share the rest.
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