Letter to My Mother

To Momma:

I hope these words find their way to you somehow because there are a few things that I need for you to know…

You should know that I miss you.

I miss you more than every inch of my body and even more than this big heart that you always said would get me into trouble. There’s not an hour that passes when I don’t miss your voice and try to play it over and over in my head. And sometimes I can just smell your favorite perfume mingled with that smoke stench from those cigarettes that we fought about constantly.

You should know that I heard you.

I heard you every time you gave me advice. You are the one who told me to “Always ask for what you want, and you just might get it.” You gave me the courage to have my voice and be a leader. To be a young bold college student and go uninvited to the #2 political power in the country and ask for a job…and get it. To win my first case before I even finished my first year of law school.

You should know that I appreciate you.

I appreciated the life you lived as a strong fearless woman in a chaotic world. You raised a huge family with little education and little money. You made sacrifices for me so I may become the woman that I am.

You should know that I respect you.

I respect you as my mother, my teacher, my guide. I can’t explain how much I admire your strength, beauty, loyalty and faith. You were a great loving wife for 48 years and I watched you every step of my 27, and I took notes. And through all of the adversities in your life you stood strong and still kept up with your tradition of singing gospels all Sunday morning every week. And you continued praising God for his love, for his challenges, for his goodness.

You should know that you were FABULOUS.

But I’m sure you already know that you were fabulous. You were a Diva in the flesh with unique style, confidence, and an attitude with a pinch of cocky. The only woman who got her hair, makeup, manicure and pedicure done while lying in a hospital bed. And yes, like mother like daughter. My shoe closet runneth over!

You should know that you kept me going.

You kept me going with your jokes, encouragement, tears, and threats (smile). I became a dedicated workaholic in high school. Cheerleader captain, gifted classes, college courses, and student government, but we did it. And we did it well. We had a system. You were my God sent alarm clock. And when I was in law school one day before my big brief was due, and I called you balling on the phone about covenants not to compete, although you had no idea what I was talking about, you listened. And you reminded me that I was smart enough because I was there, and why I really wanted to be there anyway. You gave me the strength and energy to push through the night. My personal cheerleader and coach…

Momma, you should know that I love you.

Words can’t explain the degree to which I love you. Every bit of you was beautiful to me.

And as I sit here approaching my first Mother’s Day without you, I’m starring at the last birthday card that you bought me. It has the perfectly fitting picture of a caramel young lady sitting alone on the beach at dusk with her feet buried in the sand (my favorite place to be and my way to relax). The card starts:

“For a Special Daughter”

It goes on to say:

“Never knew a face could be so beautiful, or an imagination could be so big, or a little girl could grow up so fast.”

And it closes:

“Happy Birthday to a daughter who’s loved so much.”

Momma, this letter is for a Special Mother

I never knew a face could be so beautiful or a heart could be so big or a woman with nothing could be a woman who had it all…..

And you did. You were so whole…..

Happy Mother’s Day to you Momma

I love you

And now you know how much.

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mother, mothers, love, day, parent and wamday1