I love my inside shifts…. the calls I get just make my day.
Lets call our subject Nutjob.
Nutjob “yes hello I wanted to phone and make a report about me being a victim.”
Me “what are u a victim of exactly?”
Nutjob "someone is firing ultra high intecity radio waves at me in my house. "
Me “And how do you know this?”
Nutjob " Because I can feel the concentrated laser beams."
Me " And they hit you?"
Nutjob " Well they don’t hit me they deflect off my head, I think the deaf society is behind it?"
Me " Why do you think that?"
Nutjob " I just believe they would know how to use it.. they are powerful beams and being misused by crims."
Me " How do you know what these beams are?"
Nutjob “the are radio waved becasue if I earth my feet on the ground they stop.”
Me " Do you often have ur feet off the ground?"
Nutjob " this is not a funny matter they can cause my death."
Me “death? how will they cause death?”
Nutjob “not by physically harming me but by scaring me to death?”
Me “how do they scare you?”
Nutjob “they don’t scare me I’m just a concerned vicitm and thats why I’m reporting this using a conventional telephone apparatus.”
Me " A conventional telephone apparatus as opposed to what?
Nutjob “networking or thought tranmission.”
Me "thought transmission? You can do that?
Nutjob " Yes I can do that but its hard with these radio waves?
Me “what number am I thinking of?”
Nutjob " I can’t tell you I’m not earthed."
Me " well your report will be documented appropriately."
Nutjob "and what was your name?
Me " S/C BENETAR"
Nutjob "do you have a first name?
Me “yes its Pat.”