My Mum pt 5

The cancer this time around was ferocious and every day I saw my mum grow weaker and weaker. Our family had decided that mum was never going to return to a hospital and we discovered palliative care. What an organization these people are. It was these people that allowed us to care for mum at her own house. So not only was dad now a fully qualified chef and house maid he was now becoming qualified as a nurse! Thankfully he never wore a nurse’s dress! At the end of February mum was now confined to her bedroom only. Mum had accepted that her time with us here was coming to an end and made the call for my brother to come down from Queensland.

My sister, Megan and I spent the next couple of days at mum and dads house waiting for Craig to arrive from qld. Mum was now unable to talk much and we were giving her more and more morphine for the pain. On the last day of February we didn’t hear a word from mum at all and she barely opened her eyes, until my brother walked through the door. As soon as my brother spoke my mum opened her eyes and smiled and said “Craig’s here.” I believe she reserved all her energy to wait for that moment. We spent that night by mums’ bedside reliving our childhood antics and seeing who could out do each other with our stories.

March the 1st, the first day of autumn my mums favourite season. All the kids woke up early for a change and we all met at the kitchen table for our first breakfast together since we were “knee high to a grasshopper.” We spent the whole day alternating from mums’ bedside to the kettle to back by her side. Late in the afternoon everyone decided they needed some food and Megan and I volunteered to go get take away and give us a chance to pick up clean clothes from our place. When I left everyone was in the kitchen and mum was sleeping after being given her morphine. We left the house around 4.30pm. Megan drove us back to our place and we had a shower and got changed into new clean clothes. I went and jumped in the car when my mobile rang. Louisa, my brothers beautiful girlfriend, was on the other end and this is all I heard, “Lou she’s gone.” I really don’t remember much after this besides getting out of the car and walking towards Megan and falling into her arms. Somehow meggie got me into the car and managed to drive me to mums house. I recall walking to the door and once again seeing the house looking as it had always done. I looked at Megan, grabbed her hand, took a deep breath and walked in. A few relatives and neighbors were there and they too couldn’t speak. We had so much time to prepare and know this day was coming yet you can’t prepare to never have someone you love in your life again.

I went into mums’ bedroom with Megan and she let go of my hand so I could go be with mum. I walked over and kissed mum on the head. She looked so peaceful, so pain free and in the background john Denver singing leaving on a jet plane, mums idea of heaven!

I never thought I would lose mum, I guess you never know what life will bring. Eight years after mums death Megan was killed in a motor cycle accident. Doing what she loved and I’m sure would’ve been smiling every second before she died. Megan loved life and everything in it. Megan was the only person I have ever met who I couldn’t fault. She had her beliefs for doing what’s right and always stood by that. If you were known and loved by her you were the luckiest person alive, because it meant you were held in high regard. I loved this girl like crazy, and there’s a space in my heart that could never be filled by her loss. How lucky was I to have known her and also to have been loved by her. Grasshopper RIP you will ride with me forever.

Journal Comments

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