What is going through my mind? I think in this moment right now I am content – I am carefree and I feel okay. This okay-ness whilst frayed at the edges by the realisation of reality beyond this point in time is sweet.
It’s sweat from the hot heat in the air. It’s the blow of air from the fan feathering my hair. It’s the whimsical lazy music that’s meandering from my speakers and it’s the slight sick feeling in my stomach.
I look over the other pages of melancholic words written in this same book but I don’t take notice of what they say – but I like knowing they are there.
I feel like clutching this book to my chest and having it with me wherever I go. Who knows when the words will come to me – when something beautiful will form in syllables and phrases in my mind or, something awkward and with a nasty sting of ugliness? Who can say what should be recorded and what shouldn’t? I think the things that are poignant, profound whether dark or light are the most ordinary things at first glance. So ordinary we try to look away but can’t for the realisation of our enchantment – of the simple little fragments of verse that stick to our tongues like ice to be dissolved and absorbed into our minds.
Maybe this is sheer written stupidity – the incoherent ramblings of a silly little mind. What do I care? What do I care when my hand is moving so smoothly across the pages leaving behind a snail trail of nothings that feel so right?
I don’t care – I am okay as I write this, I’m not writhing with self-hate or catatonic with depression – I’m alive and well. I exist, and I’ll continue to until the day I die – whether choking back tears or stifling laughter – I will be here.
just a little something about nothing