i love him…i hate him and everything in between.
i want Him…i don’t need him and nothing is as it seems.
i wrap my arms about me and rock me to and fro.
wishing that i could rock away, this love that hurts me so.
i think my mind is truly set…on driving me surely insane.
my world is wrapped completely in what causes me this pain.
i offered this love i feel…held it out with both hands.
i dreamed a dream that he would want this woman that i am.
oh how i beg my God to take this from me…let it just fall away.
please to make my heart stop hurting…if only for even a day.
but nothing i do matters…my efforts in vain it seems.
i can’t even close my eyes and escape him in my dreams.
i do not want this love anymore…it only came back to hurt me.
and now i can never close my eyes again…i fear the alone i see.
Maybe firsthand or maybe from the sideline…either way it is pain.