Scott was drunk, no scratch that, he was way beyond drunk. His head swam and spun as he watched the flames of the fire die down. It was very late and there were not many people left at the party. He lit a cigarette, pulled the smoke deep and felt himself relax a bit. He actually felt kind of good tonight, unlike the way he usually got when he was drunk; depressed, miserable, suicidal.
He thought about the sex he’d had tonight. It had been the first time in four years, the first time since Maria had killed herself. It had been with a woman he had met at the party tonight. He couldn’t remember her name. But she had flirted with him all night, talking to him, sitting on his lap, getting him more beer from the keg. Her eyes glossy with a look that told him if he wanted it he could get it without trying too hard.
But he had remained indifferent for awhile. Indifferent to her looks, her touches. Even to the fact that he could see down the shirt she was wearing. When she was sitting on his lap his cock was hard. Still he stayed indifferent. He even justified it to his dead girlfriend, “I’m not betraying you honey,” his intoxicated mind thought. “It’s just my dick not my heart.”
It wasn’t until she had put her hand down his pants and actually touched it that he even entertained the thought of sleeping with her. The sex had been great, but weird. He had followed her a little ways into the woods and as soon as he found a spot for the blanket she had been naked and trying to get his pants off. She put her hand around his cock and brought it to her lips. She sucked him off slowly but her lips were wrapped around his shaft so firmly. She teased his head with her tongue before stopping and laying on her back.
He had chosen a good spot in the woods. There was a break in the canopy of leaves and a shaft of moonlight fell on her body. The smooth shaven area below her naval, the curve of her thighs, the flatness of her stomach. All of these were highlighted by the moon’s unearthly glow.
Thoughts of Maria faded a bit. He was eager when he draped his body over hers, too eager and he couldn’t get it in. She said nothing, she just wrapped her hand around it and guided him to the right spot. Still it was a struggle. She was only twenty after all. Scott had turned thirty-one this year. It took almost two whole minutes of him pushing and her pushing back against him to get it in. And then it was only a little at a time, each thrust sending him deeper until he could go no further. She was so tight, his cock popped out of her once and it actually made an audible sound, like the cork exploding out of a champagne bottle.
He tried not to come too fast, but had anyway and when he did he no longer saw the woman he met at the party beneath him, he saw Maria and her eyes were condemning.
The woman had asked him what was wrong and had left him alone when he had not answered. And so through the trees he watched the flames of the fire die down. The only company he had was the smoke in his hand and the wailing sobs in the woods around him.