Whisk of a New Day

How I love getting lost in you
You lull me to sleep every time
The whisk of your breath
Surrounds each limb

I wrap my entire mind in your now
Can I come and play?
The waves crash amongst my ears
Soothing, caressing my struggle

You ease away my inner thoughts
What was tragic and merely unwanted
From every ache I feel soft fingers
From you to me, it was in the moment

Could you grace me each day
for a moment or two…..make it three
It will be then I can regain sanity
Have my fill of life

Replenish my body
Sink into my heart
Caress my day for tomorrow
My lungs filled with the musicality

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Comments

  • Katie Trzcinka
    Katie Trzcinkaover 5 years ago

    You may want to consider adding punctuation in the poem. I really like the last two lines of your second stanza. They clash perfectly.

  • Thank you for the critique! Honestly I wrote that around 1 in the morning and posted it right away! lol but i will certainly revise! :)

    – Liz Beaton

  • Katie Trzcinka
    Katie Trzcinkaover 5 years ago

    That’s very good for a one-in-the-morning, most of mine that come out that time don’t make any sense!

  • lol thanks…….and most of mine tend to not make any sense either! lol

    – Liz Beaton

  • George Coombs
    George Coombsover 5 years ago

    Carefully written and sensitive work – for me had an atmosphere of quiet and deep reflection

  • Thank you for your thoughts! Much appreciated :)

    – Liz Beaton

  • Sam Mortimer
    Sam Mortimerover 5 years ago

    Wow. That was a very enjoyable read, and for 1 o’clock in the morning an artistic triumph.
    Well done!

  • Sam Mortimer
    Sam Mortimerover 5 years ago

    Oh, and one more thing – it is very tangible, a rare quality; very real.

  • Thanks so much sam really appreciate your thoughts! :)

    – Liz Beaton

  • Narcissus17
    Narcissus17over 5 years ago

    thiis must make sense to anyone who loves! “Musicality,” is an interesting word lol.

  • haha thanks for the comments! :) ………. and uh yeah I think it is a word? lol

    – Liz Beaton

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