Whisk of a New Day

Author: Liz Beaton
Word Count: 118
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How I love getting lost in you
You lull me to sleep every time
The whisk of your breath
Surrounds each limb

I wrap my entire mind in your now
Can I come and play?
The waves crash amongst my ears
Soothing, caressing my struggle

You ease away my inner thoughts
What was tragic and merely unwanted
From every ache I feel soft fingers
From you to me, it was in the moment

Could you grace me each day
for a moment or two…..make it three
It will be then I can regain sanity
Have my fill of life

Replenish my body
Sink into my heart
Caress my day for tomorrow
My lungs filled with the musicality

ktspinstu

You may want to consider adding punctuation in the poem. I really like the last two lines of your second stanza. They clash perfectly.
Liz Beaton replied

Thank you for the critique! Honestly I wrote that around 1 in the morning and posted it right away! lol but i will certainly revise! :)
ktspinstu

That’s very good for a one-in-the-morning, most of mine that come out that time don’t make any sense!
Liz Beaton replied

lol thanks…....and most of mine tend to not make any sense either! lol
George Coombs

Carefully written and sensitive work – for me had an atmosphere of quiet and deep reflection
Liz Beaton replied

Thank you for your thoughts! Much appreciated :)
Sam Mortimer

Wow. That was a very enjoyable read, and for 1 o’clock in the morning an artistic triumph.
Well done!
Sam Mortimer

Oh, and one more thing – it is very tangible, a rare quality; very real.
Liz Beaton replied

Thanks so much sam really appreciate your thoughts! :)
Narcissus17

thiis must make sense to anyone who loves! “Musicality,” is an interesting word lol.
Liz Beaton replied

haha thanks for the comments! :) .......... and uh yeah I think it is a word? lol