littlearty

It’s cold here in Wellington. Not the best weekend but a good one to catch up on some of my unfinished drawings. I suddenly feel a need to share my art, but I haven’t been very discipline. I try to quickly sketch down ideas, ideas that seem to be materializing less and less frequent lately. I wonder what’s happening… I wonder if I’ve lost it. Lately I seem to do more think than creating. Putting myself through this process of filtering through the bad ones and when I’ve decided to take some of my sketches to the canvas, I convince myself it’s probably not worth painting. This new and foreign thought process, I am beginning to think what I do at work is being brought through into my art. The tedious and rigourous design and architectural decisions have finally taken a toll on my art life. I used to know how to separate them well. In fact I used to find one challenges the other and bring out the better. One professional and discipline, the other whimsical and free… I have been asking myself why am I painting, how is my work any different from the rest, don’t we have enough beautiful artworks around already. If so, is it wrong to clutter the world with more paintings that are just ‘beautiful’? How have I truly make a difference then?..... and this goes on…and on… and then before I know it, I’ve lost the need to paint.

ANYway, since I have no new paintings for now due to my little personal conflict, I thought I’d just share some of my doodles instead. Sometimes I think they bring across more of an essence than a finished piece of work. Most of them are done during boredom, waiting for bus, insomia nights, waiting for computer to load at work, between TV commercials… This one was done on an insomnia night. Pen,pencils, ink, colourpencils I think.

Maybe I’m changing. Maybe the old me doesn’t fit anymore. I feel somewhat lost really.