Perhaps, I was sixteen or seventeen when my heart first went cold and my resolution stoic. It was the year my first child was born and my life changed; irrevocably. The sense of estrangement from my previous life was palpable and the loneliness was directed onto A4 paper in biro ink.
Every spare moment of the day, I wrote about everything; the loss of friendship, love, my aspirations, the joy of my daughter, the pain of not fitting in.
The comfort I sought and found in writing and reading my own writing; kept me sane, kept me company, kept me happy.
Dinner was always on the table, the sheets washed, the house cleaned with a certain Mr Sheen. He wanted for nothing.
But he took everything.
The day he read my writing out loud, laden with sarcasm and a vicious anger. I sobbed my heart out and begged him to stop; as he tore each one into tiny paper ribbons.
I made a solemn promise, as I slipped my blank paper and pen into a will-box; from this day forward, I shall never write again.
Twenty years and some passed and my word was kept true. But many changes had occurred. I’d moved on from him and found in another, acceptance, encouragement, a will of giving liberation. The thawing of my cold heart.
So I returned to my love, my solace, my company, my writing.
And I am happy again.
Julie Langford
,
2 months ago
Oh Lisa, how beautiful, yet tragic and powerful writing. Two words for you girl – Keep Writing!
ENaLu, 2 months ago
I’m glad :)
mstrace, 2 months ago
completely authentic…beautiful. And SO glad you eventually returned so we can all read your words!
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago
you’re so beautiful … i love this .. and it resonates for me so strongly too xx
Yasemin Sumner, 2 months ago
oh, it nearly made me cry when I read those words, I shall never write again even though I know this one had a happy ending, it made my heart wring.
your words are so beautiful and this resonates with me too…
natapee, 2 months ago
i’m glad this has a happy ending and you reclaimed your voice.
Erin Lyall, 2 months ago
This is beautiful, Lisa.. So awful but so wonderful at the end… I absolutely love it.
ozjami, 2 months ago
Powerful and elightment my dear friend ! :)
aglaia b, 2 months ago
true heartache portrayed so well! ;-) xox
Saskia Greta S..., 2 months ago
This is so beautiful, and so inspiring. x
Symmetry44, 2 months ago
No one can ever tear what’s in your heart up Lisa. Thank God you chose to write again because to not would be to deny the world your wisdom, intelligence and loving heart.
This piece choked me up big time girlfriend…..
careless rapture, 2 months ago
i am so happy for that…this place is a better place for having you as company
x
markgb, 2 months ago
I love this.
Amazing piece.
Beautiful.
bellmusker, about 1 month ago
So I returned to my love, my solace, my company, my writing.
And I know your muse was waiting with open arms…..I’m so, so happy you let the ink flow again. x
mick8585, about 1 month ago
Isnt it funny how we deny ourselves for others, even if they hurt us deeply.
I dont do this any more.
Nor should you.
Matthew Mitchell, about 1 month ago
well done.
LisaG, about 1 month ago
Thank you XOXOXO each and everyone; gods you are all just so beautiful. XOXOXOX
Christina Martin, about 1 month ago
xoxo :)
Kristy Lee, about 1 month ago
Breaks my heart…but fills my heart with love too. I absolutely love you xox
mariemadeleyne, about 1 month ago
no words….... too moving
Ciao Lisa.
Take care lovely lady
Roger Sampson, about 1 month ago
Moved. Pained. Cried. Related. Read…. your words…. your writing…. from your pen…. on your paper…. from your heart…....... rejoiced.
Rog
Outdoors2, about 1 month ago
Good for you to find Your_Self_ Lisa
External negativity, I’m sure, muffles many unknown talents
Miri, about 1 month ago
goodness, i felt that like it was a physical blow which in a way i suppose it was
i’m sooo glad you wrote again, lovely piece
Mel Brackstone, about 1 month ago
We’re all happy that you’re writing again!