Living by Default
All thoughout last night and this morning I felt so blessed. I was not thinking of the show so much as what each and every experience I had had that has brought me to this place.
As soon as I own my life I feel a wave of relief and the desires I am ready to receive do show up in all manner of joy and abundance.
One and a half years ago I was just getting out of bed and allowing a great bout of depression to consume me and my hopes and dreams..
Every morning without fail for only One to Two Minutes out of my day I would lay in bed and say to myself with a huge wave of belief so grand and fine that I felt the power of Love and happiness swell up inside me as I said:
“Today might be the day That I find Myself”
Then I would get up out of bed and most likely not shower and go to the couch out in the living room, sit with a channel changer in my hand and watch television all day.
.
Then, as so many of you who have known me for awhile knows, I went to my computer one morning after my mantra and I hooked into this site and to YOU.
.
Healing after Healing after ….. on and on.. what hit me was Love.
IT was then I began to work a photoshop program for 10 hours a day (instead of television, I now do not own one) for a year at least… I remember not wanting to leave my home, as I did not want to socialize nor see anyone. I worked to pay my rent minimal (as I hated to leave the house) and stayed inside and learned my craft and spent time with you.
.
There is more to write on this but the profound appreciation I have for RB and my fellows swelled up inside me today early this morning as I was cleaning up after the festivities.
.
Thank You.
I Love You.
Linaji
What was elegance to a snail’s victory?
It was joy, joy, joy.. The report found.
For no precise nor eloquent words
Not even lithe and streamlined gestures
Gives to ones ‘self’ what
Soul knows to Soul
It is closing down the ulterior motives one attracts
(For one’s own good) (hee hee we say inside)
To receive what the Soul has lain out on the table
Before us
It is while sitting right beside
Soul
In mystic-like hand signals
One can pass up
(by awkward misuse)
A breach in the hull
On trial we claim
Guilty by default!
Upon discovery
As the sentence is given
We come to realize a few things about our
Unrealized guest,
Our Co-Hort
Our Co-Creative Intelligence
For each of us this realization feels wonderful
Because we know in that moment we are
Never alone nor without recourse
Never.
But then,
How is one to formulate the new system but by again
Wondering sometimes and asking the questions
Why one is doing what one is doing
Or
Finding what does not work
And then deciding,
“There is a solution.”
To Begin again and again
To
‘Straighten up and fly right’
Under construction is:
“I just don’t know what it is about ‘them’, ‘him’ or
‘her’”
Rebuilding slowly and painstakingly one brings it,
(The idea that says we can change or do anything starting from the outside in),
Home.
Then,
One
Owns
‘It’
All.
Inside of that journey we unleash
The nature of man ‘kind’
Slowly stalking ourselves behind the cloudy
Perpetual fog that exists through focus alone
Alighted is
The finish line
Pass go!
Collect $200 or whatever infinite desire means
Anything at that moment
And then
The
Beginning
Begins
Linaji 2009
Shelly Hiebert
You are a beautiful human being Linaji :) All of the words on this page are amazing and beautiful and so full of love, and you make me smile :) Big hug to you :)
linaji replied
you made my day Ms Shelly. Your work has always brought a certain beauty into my life.. thank you for this lovely comment. x
kjgordon
aloha nui loa….............
kj
and what Shelly said…............................................................................................
linaji replied
say.. what shelly says fits what I want to say to you too…. teeeheeeeex..x.x.xx.
ellamental
It is your Truthfulness that Heals us all Lina!!!!
linaji replied
my darling Ella// Wow and thanks so much!! Sending you Love.xxOOO
Lisa Jewell
again and again and if necessary again
Oh Lina,
you are the total inspiration
my darling friend
I shall always
try again
thank you so very much
XOXOXOX
linaji replied
I think you are as resilient as the Sun.. how does it shine everyday??? Every day when I get my morning message I feel so so good.. It goes in a big circle my darling Lisa… xxxxxxOOO
Mary Ann Reilly
I am reminded here of Edward Said who wrote that we are always well past beginning when we recognize it. Congratulations, Lina. Acts of discovery are rare and to be cherished.
linaji replied
I was thinking about you today Ms. Mary Ann Reilly! thank you so much!!
erich biemer
awesome read as i continue to track the soul thief…....
linaji replied
thank you Erich!
lianne
The beginning begins – as it does brand new every day.But you already clearly know that, don’t you, dear Lina? And obviously, you begin each day differently than you did a year and a half ago! We can see the Lina pennant flying freely in a steady but gentle wind that only blows in one direction > forward! Full of joy you are!
linaji replied
Actually this is more about what I was talking to me bro about this morning.. that all of what happened was like a Universal trick into getting me what I desired. The infinite ways the Universe has to give even as trickster (at the time I do believe this was a wise choice).. is so utterly beautiful.
I like to bring this story up for others when I reach certain times in my life when it feels really good. I feel that perhaps othes who like me in the beginning of this relationship with RB and heART may enjoy hearing about my experience and hope. It seems to be the blessed state of Being.. Forward HO!
Thank you so much.. as you know I have value your vibe in my life here!
Marion Chapman
oh, you darling, i had no idea of the extent from where you have come. You are so full of amazing love for everyone i can hardly believe that this is true. You are such a beautiful soul Lina. All love to you too!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
linaji replied
In a way Marion, it is no longer true. I cannot even remember how it felt. I simply state this sometimes on line to provide others with hope! I so so so love you and know that someday I will see you. Things are happening rather quick and it feels great! Big Hugs.. perhaps I can take some of your work and create the ships in front of them.. we shall see.. I feel your work for me is like water… flows and clean and wonderful.. like you darling Maz!
Jack Grace
I do not pretend to know your life’s story but I feel you are beginning to know it. Glad I get to be there for the journey, you’ve got the fog lights on, give it the gas! xoxoxo
Jack
linaji replied
I am going to write today while I wait for my big buyer (the 30X40) here in the club to stop in. I will write what I feel now is truly how I see my past.. I see the gifts now so clearly it is mind boggeling and I want to make it clear how i get more and more what Abraham says about the creativity of CONTRAST.. I am blow away Jack.. not by the sales.. indeed the sales reflect where I am.. but I am blown away how my life is PERFECT. and no less than that! I would like to think that you may not ‘know’ my life.. but I do know you ‘feel’ me darling friend.. xxxxxxx and OOOOOO
cosimopiro
Once the seed is planted and it germinates it is up to us to nurture it and help and watch it grow. Once it begins we must maintain the sustenance so that the roots become strong. I think you have tended this garden well.
linaji replied
you are such an exquisite writer.. I have popped over to read.. I shall comment later today. Honored I am you are here!! Thank you so very much for the watching me as I shall be watching you too!
Vicki Ferrari
:) I can so relate and I love the way you write, relate, report and share yourself Lina! Thank you! xxoo Vicki :)
linaji replied
Vicki.. it is easy to look back now as I don’t feel much of anything that I even had a part of that.. all’s I feel now is so much Love…and your a big part of this feeling.. xxxx
Christie Moses
I see your heart glowing like a thousand suns and its no wonder we all love you so much :) Beautiful lady xoxox
linaji replied
Hello sweet Christie.. I have so much to catch up on and appreciate your view and lovely comment!!! x
Trenchtownrock
I love that you can start the process and begin the journey..spread your wings and enjoy the bountiful gifts that comes with acceptance and starting anew..one love irie sista.
linaji replied
Every moment is perfection for me .. as hindsite shows me so much truth of how at the time of the contrast…or any story that seems down and out.. there is a great deal of desire being born… and then if one will accept by even a hairs crack some new element into ones world.. mountains are being moved and rivers cut, all manner of newness occurs.. well it does everyday but to utilize these gifts is the fun and bounty that makes life a pleasure!! thanks so much my dear Chris! x
bill bell
You’ve always been the cheerleader for others Lina, I’m glad you’re cheering yourself on as well :)
linaji replied
Wow Bill.. what a very very cool thing to say.. can I fav comments? teehee.x
ArcadiaTempest
Well passing go and if we get even smidge of the sort of love you I so believe have in your soul core….wow we would rocket all the way to the station and be so fully satisfied that life was on our side. I so love your look at being more fulltime in the fullness of being alive …..lovely Lina lights the flame once again for finding a way out of the maze….XXXX
linaji replied
It has been heaven in the last two hours… just reading others work and basking in comments such as these. Wow My darling Karen Sue… you allow for me such a bit of Love and Appreciation.. I feel your shared understanding and your grace.. thank you.
Dwayne Boyd
Keep on keepin’ on Lina
linaji replied
Hi Dwayne… teehee.. yah man.!
Richard George
Agree with Bill…you are an inspiration and it is nice to watch you reap the rewards for that!
linaji replied
Richard thank you so much! I feel the big circle of love here.
ambient-1
Magnificent writing linaji!
linaji replied
Robert! How are you dear One.? I hope all is well and thank you for this kind remark!!
Keith Reesor
OMG!! Fabulous writing Linaji!!
Also love the story to the right. How love and community can change one’s life!! :)
linaji replied
Oh my dear Brother.. thanks so much! Tis true and I look back and do not even feel one bit of my past.. but the story is for others who are at a part of life where this site and as you said community saved enough of me to move through the pain.. Love you Bro.. so very very much.
Anna Shaw
Just wonderful and moving writing.
xx
linaji replied
Thank you so much Anna:=}}
F.A. Moore
“It is while sitting right beside
Soul
In mystic-like hand signals
One can pass up
(by awkward misuse)
A breach in the hull….”
Love that verse, so well written, visual, and felt.
I’m favoriting this for a revisit. There’s a lot here; a lot to you: your history, exploration, discovery, and essence.
linaji replied
Wow Fran I like that one too.. I felt it and you! thanks so much:=}}
navybrat
_Inside of that journey we unleash
The nature of man ‘kind’
Slowly stalking ourselves behind the cloudy
Perpetual fog that exists through focus alone
Alighted is
The finish line
Pass go!_
....sigh…..
linaji replied
Hello you beauty! thank you so much:=}}
Isa Rodriguez
i feel this one up and down .. linaji.. oh, so many people relate to this one.. so much here to say..
you hold a blessing in simply telling and i thankyou !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for being here with us , and may you always have a flow of energy of the good kind.. man, i know what you mean.. ♥
linaji replied
Isa.. your a blessing.. I see you and your beautiful icon and your presence of joy and love, thank you. xxx
Isa Rodriguez
Finding what does not work
And then deciding,
“There is a solution.”
To Begin again and again
To
‘Straighten up and fly right’
Under construction is:
“I just don’t know what it is about ‘them’, ‘him’ or
‘her’”
Rebuilding slowly and painstakingly one brings it,
(The idea that says we can change or do anything starting from the outside in),
Home.
Then,
One
Owns
‘It’
All.
wowwwwwwwwww
linaji replied
teehee.. you really made my morning here.. wow back!! xxx
Mariam Muradian
Your process, your growth, your tenacious free spirit….you teach us all how to live, linaji !
The Universe says, “Here, experiment!” Sometimes looking at it from upside down helps!
We aren’t finding our lives, we are creating our lives!!!!!
You empowered woman you!!!
Blessings.
XOXO