Reflections By the Sea... I just Want To Be Loved

Today I had the great urge to be right. I looked at a situation and the person of which I wanted to be right around and I felt this serge well up inside me. I thought; I will write, I will stomp a tad, I will let this person know exactly how incorrect they are. I will…I …Will!

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Nothing wrong with a little ‘will’ if it feels good for the moment. I did take a mo to see and feel in my mind exactly what I would say to them, how I would say it via prose maybe, a song might be nice, or how bout just letting them know to their face how utterly wrong they are! Hummm, (back to writing thoughts of revenge) maybe I should write it out and then see if they have the ability to read between the lines!! (Oh that is my favorite way of communicating my ‘rightness’. I am guilty of this more times than I can count).
However, as I played out the options in my head my heart began pulling me sideways filling me with a different beat. The pulse was slower and had little upturned Mona Lisa smiles round the edges and I even had a feeling of stinging tears when I thought; “Shit, I just wanna be loved”.
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I breathed in deep and sat down in the chair I am now writing from and started to look at the ‘other’. I felt a kinship with them and felt beyond a shadow of a doubt all’s they wanted was to be ‘loved’ too. I acquiesced even more in allowing ease to enter in and felt my beating bloodline (the one that calls me forward everyday to feel whom I truly am) take me down the River of Well Being where everything I ever wanted or want is waiting for me.

I put away the oars and felt my sense of control ease up; an immediate connection to my Source seemed to flow in and I started to feel that Mona Lisa smile come round the corner of my lips. I opened my eyes after about 10 deep breaths with a clear picture of letting go of my need for being ‘right’ and decided I needed a bit of assistance. I picked up one of my books I read now and again from the teachings of Ester and Jerry Hicks from the collective consciousness called’ Abraham’.

This is what I opened up to:

“When you remember that you are the creator of your experience and that no one else need agree with you to achieve whatever you set out to accomplish, then and only then will you truly be willing to Allow Others to do as they choose” .

They call it the ‘Art of Allowing’ and for me I feel better when I allow people their own creative processes in finding what makes them feel good. Sometimes with a bit of the tugging heartstrings I must confess, ‘it ain’t me’.

I know from utilizing this Art.. I feel better. It is when I am not focused on others thinking or actions that I start to see more clearly what these teachings also discuss.. Un-conditional Love. What is that?

Sometimes I give the job of my happiness and well being to others. Plain and simple I begin to think I would feel better if they would agree with me. I would feel better if they saw things the way I see things.. I would feel better if they saw me the way I want them to see me and I would feel better if they just LOVED ME.

Love me… and what have I been learning of love hummm Linaji? Unconditional Love

I am discovering if I place my ‘feeling good and loved’ on the conditions of how you act, do or feel (or verbalize) towards me; well basically I am screwed. I simply cannot control your perception of anything, especially towards me! (But oh so many times I do think I can!)
What seems to be working for me is allowing you to be you without thinking that my joy or relief depends on what you do, say or act. By focusing on what I like about you or about my day or about me or about life; Also by going into appreciation I can change the circumstances of my own life and people start to act different and the ones that don’t want to feel what I feel at the moment are no longer around. (Sometimes that one hurts the most but this too is replaced by people that do want what I have, do and feel!) Being connected to my own Source within and without gives me a new perspective on my world at Large! I start to see the freedom and the kindness and the intelligence in loving without the conditions of wanting you to act a certain way or be a certain way so that I can feel good. I just decide I will feel good no matter what! No Conditions… None!
Even in the writing of this work I feel better in owning what time and time again has worked for me: empowering myself with the choice of thinking better feeling thoughts. Being right is no longer the desire, feeling good is.

Breathe deep 10 more times Linaji! Smile now that you feel like it.! Taking responsibility for all my life changes everything. Yes, this makes me feel the ease of my life as I go down the river giving up the oars, putting my hands behind my head and allow the sun to shine down on me warm and tender. It is then that I feel it; it is Now that I feel it; light and fluffy and oh so LOVED!
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Loving you from the place that feels so good… By The Sea.
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XXX
Linaji 2009

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