Fatal Wounds

Oh Ibrahim.. xox

I know.

xox means alot you came.

and here we are again.. months upon months upon months.. and my heart indeed is broken..it is the spiral.. almost but not quite.. I am a coward and attract all those I cannot have Ibrahim..you should know and the pain does not change..much..

Not so sure if it is the lost.. or the unattainable.. I have since I wrote this had to examine my intent .. and for me.. my attraction point seems carless and a bit at a loss sometimes if indeed I am committed to allowing a full on relationship in my life. I believe we attract everything and I see this is so when I pause and ask myself why this.. why this pain again.. weather I attract someone whom I loved so much and he was taken or someone I love now and cannot have.. well.. I am attracting all of this.. So I feel no regret for the loving is pure in and of itself and I believe in the eternal nature of this one espically.. like forever.. but it all hurts none the less and makes me ask myself.. ARE YOU READY? and you know… I am still not answering very loud.. You my friend really helped me through.. I was feeling very very low.. I appreciate knowing you and meeting you SD.. Sending you hugs and smiles.. a bit better.. I.

You are in my heart Joe.. full of appreciationxox

xoxo feeling better..

personally.. from what I have seen in many trips beyond.. it is a place that I am sometimes drawn to.. not because I do not love this live sure.. but like the feeling of a drink when One is wanting to be rid of the pain for just a minuet.. I know.. if I choose.. I could do this.. say goodnight and fly… but then I think what keeps me here is my love of Art.. I am so in love with this part of my life Mark.. as you know the Art of Allowing is my key to feeling good… It is when I don’t allow for my feelings.. hence the poem …or my foibles.. plenty.. that I feel like jumping off to the beyond.. I feel like I want to control others feelings toward me and I just cant and that drives me mad sometimes.. So I write and I scream and I cry and I want to die.. because the pain of believing someone does not know my heart.. is painful..
So I have to say..
I am where I am
and this is where I am..
and I know who I am..
and I am love.
As well as All whom I know are too..
LIke you .. A big MM> with lots and lots of LOve!

Yes Tom.. Love.

xoxo thanks Linda..

better Leon.. xox

Dawn D.. your my dream come true.. I mean that.. my whole life is and i macro sense it down to the pain itself and my world becomes so small.. but it does.. and so I write.. and find you here and my heart expands and am glad you are here.. xoxo

Kumarji.. you are funny.. you see so much sometimes and when you choose not to.. well.. you are brilliant and I would not have you any other way.. I so love you.
Thanks very much friend.

Sweet Friend.. sending you xoxoxox on V day.. thanks for this.

I feel blindsided Keith.. but I know how life is.. what a joy that I have this place and you and many in my heart like you to bounce off the wall and feel like I have landed in your arms of safety..
Much Much thanks.. xox

Amen.. in all ways.. and how we attract these people places and things. are part of my pie..

I am with you darling one.. till you are disappeared.. I am here.. xoxoxoxoo

It has been such a pleasure to know you in the past few days roy.. thanks so much for your comments and your real understanding.. xox

Hugging you tonight.. thanks for your words and always Robin, youR LIGHT… XOXOXO

GAME ON.. I’LL BRING THE ARROWS!! LOLOL XOXOXOXOXO

Oh David.. what a great feeling I have now upon coming home. You are right in some respects about these waves. However it has been quite some time in my life 6 years to be exact.. since I felt this.. I have been since coming here a steady ship of Well Being and of course the glitches of the unawares human kind! lolol But this one really has taken me for a loop and my heart is aching. I am feeling so much now that I write.. and this place with you here gives me so much electric safety.. and I mean electric.. cause there is still a chance of allowing myself to fear my place here at Red Bubble.. So I put my blinders on and ‘just do it’ as it were. Some relief has come due to just being able to commune with this person.. but so unresolved..so painful indeed
When I walk to my job or see others here in the real world.. they would not know much about me if they were not part of RB.. this is my creative haven.. my muses and my Co-Creative family reside here. I have often thought how pleasant a life I would have in a sort of Artist commune where we had access to each others energy .. but maybe the internet really is like that.. cause I feel ‘right’ here in my choosing transparency.. and you are right David.. mediocre has never been a problem!! xoxoxoxoxo I wish I could meet you in the ‘dunes’ early morning. and i could do some shooting with you.!! thanks so very much. Linaji..

I feel this sweetheart.. so very very much.. just went to see your poem got featured.. boy!! I missed that one.. it is amazing work between you two.. thanks for that too.. xoxo

I just got home.. I am blown away. I love you.

Vulcan.. hugs..xox

little better today.. Sally I am so behind.. work and all.. you did a beautiful job at the home front!! gorgeous!

Hugs you hippy Momma!

It is the love here that brings out the best in me.. you are so part of my life and appreciattion.. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I felt so much power/vitality from wonderful Beings.. such as you. I am humbled by this whole experience and feel that not a moment is wasted in this life that in the circle where we can’t always see the enormity of ‘it’ all, embraces us and our fears by allowing us to feel the safety in our lives with people like you Leann connecting. thank you so much.

I AM BETTER TODAY DEAR ONE.. I me returning like gangbusters.. A part of me is finding its way back that has been gone for quite sometime.. this work as you know is our blood to health.. if I did not write about all of it.. I could not expand as fast as I am .. Love YOU!

Better dear friend..xox