In the ‘all that is’ … we are still friends, I wrote this inspired by the love between us at the time:
I told the old man who spoke like a woman:
I am done. I am finished here because I am tired of not ‘getting it’.
I am tired now and my body hurts.
I am done and I want to become more than this ‘doneness’, freakish limitation
(I heard the old man mantra in the background play a lute and from that heard a repetitive track from my
favorite unknown band
…. I am not enough …I am not enough…)
There was a diamond river to the east that I lay beside and began to feel naked -I realized
not a sound came from this man but I heard him say again
and again in the voice of my knowing:
“Which is more important, the cow or the grass the cow eats?”
“We are honored that a part of us is here in this place, (our consciousness)
for it is the leading edge of thought.
Separation and stories you tell about being ‘less than’
are simply not true"
“even your prophets say: And Greater Works Shall Ye Do than Me"
He nodded his head left to right and took my hand in his. It felt like
cool velvet and I became ready to hear more.
“If you feel like leaving here you have never left , so come.
In one instant you will drop all resistance behind.
The stories of this world in time and space will become your loin cloth
and You will love your journey even more; for Appreciation in
choosing to experience this existence, this vibration, will
excite you once again because you will remember the basis for
all things is Unconditional Love that YOU possess. Dearest, you will know once again that even in these seeming moments of extreme fear and pain you will have created more and became more for that is the nature of our existence. Fear and the belief in death will vanish and it will soften into a moment liken your grandfather tucking you in for the night and telling you about the safety of the world and the excitement to be had on the leading edge of thought."
All is Well, I heard him say in that voice of the Goddess.
And with those words still buzzing in my heart I felt soothed, I felt kind and I felt the pain in my body disappear. I let go for the time being my desire to bolt to the heavens.
Being here or there? It felt true for the moment that indeed it did not matter which place I was in;
the grass or the cow or the shit that fertilized the big green meadow I was laying naked in.
None more important than the other.
(why did I always feel somehow I need to ‘get’ to a better place? Could I not become that better place no mater what part of the cycle I was experiencing?)
Then the sun hit me hard and warm and I saw a line of ants forming and building a beautiful home. To the left I saw the old man begin a whirling dervish spin. I was surrounded by things that worked and so I let go my resentment and drank in the wonder.
At moments like these I could actually believe I need not ‘go’ anywhere.
‘Here I Am’.
some old man/woman knowledge