If you ask me what I am.. I may have some trouble telling you.
I’ll probably answer with something lame like “I’m flesh and blood”, “I’m stardust”, “I’m a soul waiting to go home”. And then I’ll sit on my back step and think.. I should have thought about that longer. I sold myself WAY short… upon which my logical brain will kick in with NO WAY and will go through the obligatory list of artist, mother, woman, daughter, sister, employee etc etc.. and I could list myself even further to the point of sexual orientation, favourite music, erogenous foods or books… but why? I think I’d be missing the point. In fact, I know I have missed the point over and over again which makes me an Expert.
Being an Expert gives me certain liberties. I can, essesntially say what I like. For Example: an Expert is someone who has tried many times to perfect something. I can assume that through the process of perfecting.. many mistakes would be made. Therefore, an Expert would be someone who has made many mistakes. As well as failure, odds are in favour of some episodes of triumph… which is what would drive an Expert to continue. A true Expert, regardless of age, would realise pretty quickly if he/she was on a road to Nowhere and correct their direction.
I am going on about this expert stuff because, basically, I want you to believe every word that I say. It’s manipulative but also disgustingly, wonderfully honest. I have lived and made a truck load of mistakes – It’s a semi-trailor load – We are talking major road train.. piled high and overflowing with mistakes. I’m sorry, it looks like the Lotto truck but it’s not.
It’s my truck load of mistakes that makes me an Expert.
Being an Expert also leaves me open and vulnerable to attacks from people who wish to prove that I am not an Expert. They try. Oh, how they try…. Not one person has yet been able to prove that I am not an Expert as an Expert knows how to say “I don’t know”.
An Expert knows you can’t know everything and an Expert doesn’t want to know everything.. just that which is relevant to his or her personal evolution into Expertise. I am an Expert who knows what she knows and doesn’t know what she doesn’t. This also happens to make me a Specialist.
Being an Expert Specialist or E.S. means that I have made more mistakes than most. Child prodigy Experts usually have unfortunate childhoods… forever falling into the wrong situation at the wong time with the wrong people who are using the wrong kind of drugs and wanting to do very wrong kinds of things…
If you ask me what I am I can tell you that I am an Expert who specialises in Mistakes with a major in Consequence. I minored in Metaphysics, Synchronicity and Filosophy (which is thinking and eating pastries at the same time (also my FAVOURITE class)). I passed with a Bloody High Distinction. In my spare time, I made extra credit by volunteering in the Quantum Jump Lab and by tutoring students who were from spiritually disadvantaged backgrounds.
So now I am a Goody2Shoes, a Specialist and an Expert. It’s no wonder I have had a hard time finding ‘real world’ employment. I am completely over-qualified!
I am Limerick. An (almost) unemployable (till the library) over-qualified, goody2Shoe, Specialist in everything she is expert at.
That’s fucking awesome!
Ooh, pardon me! I think it was me who just swore. Open the window quickly and let it out………
Dedicated to my friends.