Rebel without a pause..

This is the effect your art has on me.

In the past 24 hours
I have been frightened.
My body wants to turn in on itself.
I have felt and expressed anger.. illogical, unexplainable anger.
My hands have been shaking uncontrollably.
The body runs hot and cold.
I remember everything over and over… and over.
My eyes keep spurting tears – I keep wetting people
My gizzards are leaping.. it is very unpleasant.
I have vomitted.
My mouth has had a constant chatter like it does after an accident
or a deep shock
or a rape….

I have been called names here today and felt waves of dislike
within this place I call home…

This has triggered off more than I care to admit. I feel as though my safety has been compromised when I have worked so hard to be safe here. I don’t expose anything here but my mind and my heart….

I have made the most generous friends since being here. I have loved almost every minute thus far. I want to thank those friends who have taken the time to make time for me.. and to get to know me. My journey on RB is not complete but I am out of this debate. Count me as a casualty if you like.

This doesn’t mean that I am giving up… quite the opposite. I will just be chaneling my energies in a more efficient manner with view to real change.

I feel as though the battle may be lost – but not the war.

Peace fellow heARTists,
In fARTs,
and smARTies.

Love you always,

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