This is the effect your art has on me.
In the past 24 hours
I have been frightened.
My body wants to turn in on itself.
I have felt and expressed anger.. illogical, unexplainable anger.
My hands have been shaking uncontrollably.
The body runs hot and cold.
I remember everything over and over… and over.
My eyes keep spurting tears – I keep wetting people
My gizzards are leaping.. it is very unpleasant.
I have vomitted.
My mouth has had a constant chatter like it does after an accident
or a deep shock
or a rape….
I have been called names here today and felt waves of dislike
within this place I call home…
This has triggered off more than I care to admit. I feel as though my safety has been compromised when I have worked so hard to be safe here. I don’t expose anything here but my mind and my heart….
I have made the most generous friends since being here. I have loved almost every minute thus far. I want to thank those friends who have taken the time to make time for me.. and to get to know me. My journey on RB is not complete but I am out of this debate. Count me as a casualty if you like.
This doesn’t mean that I am giving up… quite the opposite. I will just be chaneling my energies in a more efficient manner with view to real change.
I feel as though the battle may be lost – but not the war.
Peace fellow heARTists,
Love you always,