True friendship

I just had some wonderful friends over for dinner whom I love and appreciate very much. We had a great afternoon and evening together over great food , wine and much laughter, and it got me thinking about friendship. I am very fortunate in that life has granted me some truly wonderful friends. Acquaintances I have many, real friends whom I can trust and count on, just a handful, and that is plenty and invaluable to me. What is it that makes a true friendship? Well to me true friendship is about love, non judgement, a high level of trust and respect, open communication and knowing how to listen and agree even when disagreeing on something, which basically means respecting each other’s point of view, without trying to force one’s views on the other. It is about having the peace of mind that confidences shared will not be betrayed, and delivering and receiving advice when required in an honest yet tactful and caring way. It is giving openly and willingly, a kind of caring that has the other’s best interest at heart, offering support when needed, encouragement when necessary, being happy about the other’s victories and successes, and definitely sharing tears and lots of laughter. It means wanting to share dreams and plans in the knowledge that your friend is cheering for you and wants you to do well. With my best friends, when something important is happening to us, like a job interview or an exam for example, we let each other know that we are thinking of the other and sending loving thoughts and wishes in support.

In a real friendship doing things for each other is free of a tit for tat mentality. One does not do for a friend to get something in return, but this certainly does not mean that there is no reciprocity, for a one sided relationship will weaken and eventually die. But reciprocity in true friendship is not about keeping score of who has done what, and making sure it is repaid, but it is about a kind of mutual appreciation that comes from deep within, which is felt and experienced by open, giving, attentive and loving attitudes and actions which go beyond words and express “You are special to me and I am always here for you ”.

True friendship is also about forgiveness and sometimes just letting things pass by realising that misunderstandings can certainly happen and that everyone makes mistakes. However, if what needs to be forgiven is something that has come from a place of spite and delivered with malice, intending to cause pain and hurt, then it must still be forgiven for the sake of one’s own heart, but thought must be given as to whether any kind of relationship should or can be maintained at all.

The one thing to remember is to never take a true friend for granted, for they are indeed a treasure not easy to find. When someone walks into our lives who truly cares, is willing to open their heart and be there for us, they are indeed a blessing for which we must show heartfelt gratitude, appreciation and love.

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Tags:

appreciation, friendship, love, respect and trust