On Walking Cats

Step 1, walk to back door. Look for nearest cat (usually Solomon http://www.redbubble.com/people/lifeinmaine/art/1758176-2-kayaking-with-solomon) and grab his harness and leash and tie it around his squirming body. Now look at other six cats all crowding the entry way begging to wear a harness. Pick another 3 that might not kill each other on a leash and put harnesses on those while fending off all the disappointed cats and breaking up the odd fight. Grab the four leashes up short in one hand and forcibly drag out 4 cats, who now all have completely different ideas, while gently kicking all the others back into the house. All four are now pulling like crazy, if I am lucky, in the same direction. Now this is where it gets clever. Take 2 leashes and tie them together (not as easy as it sounds while holding 4 cats), tie the other 2 together and try to persuade all 4 to move off down the drive. If 2 are moving in the same direction there is time to focus on dragging or carrying the other 2. Find the trail down to the pond. They are usually more cooperative by this time. One sets off down the trail at full speed, yanking the other off its paws. The other 2 take different routes around a tree. Someone wants to stop and climb a rock…. Once down at the pond I can relax. I just let them all go and sit and look out across the pond. They can now look after themselves as entanglement is guaranteed and they will not go far. Enjoy ten minutes of vital meditation. Spend 15 minutes untangling leashes (long ones) from trees and gently herd my companions back up to the house. Once we get to the back yard nobody wants to go back in and so 4 cats have to be dragged/carried in the door while preventing the escape of the other 6. Next step, collapse on the couch with a cup of tea or take another lot out!

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cats and leash