My easy God of childhood
to whom my simple prayers
were apparently acceptable,
and from whose hand in loving grace
were once so easily satisfied,
has long since gone and left me
to more demanding divinities.
So no easy God can I invoke,
no deity or spirit now appease
with further bloodless sacrifice,
no totems make, nor amulets wear
no bones cast in the dirt,
no incantations or shaman spells
to ward off what I dread.
Righteously, and with holy indignation,
some sacred priestess prepares
to make of me an offering
to these other less loving gods
who demand my gory death
in ritual blood instead of dancing life.
With rib cage slashed and parted wide,
my heart is ripped barehanded
from my gaping chest, fast dripping out
the red, red wine of love to now be
cast in fear and fury into the maws
of this new fiery, hungry, angry idol.
Yet, with hot gray smoke like incense rising
from the ash of burning heart,
one ember still retains a spark,
some light, some spirit of myself
from which Phoenix like, I might
rise and seek some other hope,
another faith in which to live again.
©Lianne Schneider April 2008
hilarydougill, 5 months ago
Wonderful!! very visual and graphic, beautifully written.
butchart, 5 months ago
wow lianne… that’s pretty powerful … very raw…...... i hope that you are ok….. feel the love….b
lianne in reply to hilarydougill’s comment, 5 months ago
Thank you Hilary dear friend – oh my I am so enjoying the epilogues! They are keeping me so engrossed – loving every line!
TeriLee, 5 months ago
I love this Lianne…powerful and deep…..it’s hard to have “faith” in a religion just because you were told that it was the right way….you have to go with what is in your heart…that is not always easy to do….a lot of strength and empowerment in this…I love this…
I might rise and seek some other hope,
another faith in which to live again.
Until you know in your heart what you truly believe….Faith is so hard top have…but nothing is more comforting than absolute faith…like a man I heard about…he was sky diving, and his parachute did not open….he lived (barely)...but he said he was not scared, he said on the way down he just said his goodbyes to to world and closed his eyes and told God that he was ready….because he had faith in what he believed….ohhhh how I envied him for that…cuz I woulda been screamin’ my head off….no matter what he believes, just that he believes it that completely….
Al Neaimi, 5 months ago
Wow Lianne , this is just so powerful , i read it 4 times , love this work very much. Thank you for being you.
lianne in reply to butchart’s comment, 5 months ago
I feel it Butch my dear – took it with me from your art this morning remember??? Didn’t mean to upset you, dear friend! But thank you for just being so damned special!!!! love you!
lianne in reply to TeriLee’s comment, 5 months ago
Ah TeriLee my friend – I think it’s that as children faith is easy – God is a “nice guy” – until something comes along and we get NO for an answer. But I do have faith, my friend, that even nos have meaning and purpose and I just need to seek greater understanding to recognize that no might actually be yes, just different. Love you, my friend!
lianne in reply to Al Neaimi’s comment, 5 months ago
Thank you so very much Al – it’s good to see you my friend. I’m glad it speaks to you and glad you liked it!
Max Gatrell, 5 months ago
A Masterful piece! loved it.
M
lianne in reply to Max Gatrell’s comment, 5 months ago
Thank you so very much Max and for honoring me by favoriting it as well. I’m very humbled by your comment and appreciate it very much!
LindaR, 5 months ago
I have written so many responses to your poetry of the soul Lianne and they all fall short…just a deep bow of appreciation and gratitude for you is what I am left with ~ and love ~ which is really all there is (I know Jon Lennon said it first, but he was right, so I quote him here :) xxx
lianne in reply to LindaR’s comment, 5 months ago
Linda – your deep understanding and our connection have come to mean a great deal to me! Yes – love is all there is – and I feel it for you as well. You are so wonderfully kind, so gracious to me always – and to say I appreciate you is hardly enough! Much love xxx
Dwayne Boyd, 5 months ago
Liane, you were in tune with your muse and working some poetic voo doo on this one. This can be a appreciated on many levels. One can not accept things at face value anymore. It is important to seek personal truth.
lianne, 5 months ago
Oh it really is Dwayne – I could not have said that better! Nor is life or faith as simple as when we were children – there are “other gods” out there aren’t there of whom we need beware?? Thank you so very much my friend. You’ve been doing some pretty amazing stuff yourself lately!!!
beast, 5 months ago
intense writing lianne, that ‘one ember still retains a spark,
some light’ gives a brilliant hope, well done
lianne in reply to beast’s comment, 5 months ago
Thank you so much, my friend – I’m glad it struck a chord. Hope is terribly important isn’t it? I very much appreciate your thoughtful comments beast!
aspectsoftmk, 5 months ago
lianne your writing is so powerful…a childs image odfgod is …yes good…and then as life happens we begin to wonder…me…i belive in the good, and i found a way to ommunicate with my beliefs…your words i think more and shall read them to the powers to see what is said….i know you understand what i just said..lol…xoxo
TLeeHoney, 5 months ago
Gothic and subversive tones, Lianne – discourse surfer that you are :o)
lianne in reply to aspectsoftmk’s comment, 5 months ago
actually strangely enough I do – lol. Thank you so much Terri! I appreciate you so much you know!
lianne in reply to TLeeHoney’s comment, 5 months ago
Subversive – hmmmm – lol – well perhaps so Tan! Actually the reference was not to religious faith originally – it just took on a life of its own!
Summayyah Sadi..., 5 months ago
This brought tears to my eyes and made my heart pound…that is no easy feat for any writing, it has to be really special to do that to me…lianne, just when I think I have seen the best you shake me up and hit me with another masterpiece.
What powerful depths you take one in your writings…
“whose hand in loving grace
were once so easily satisfied,
has long since gone and left me
to more demanding divinities.”
Took me to when I was about to start using the Hijab:head covering. All the while my father would insist but I could never bring myself to because I found it difficult to bow to his will in a matter that should bring me to submit to a greater Will. One day I asked myself what was it about my hair that made a god before which I worship? I decided to conquer that divinity and used a tiny scarf like a bandana and the rest as they say is history. The point to this story is that as a child with a childhood without complications, the requests are simple and get apparently heard…but when the challenges of life unleash their trial of faith,...
“no easy God can I invoke,
no deity or spirit now appease
with further bloodless sacrifice,
no totems make, nor amulets wear
no bones cast in the dirt,
no incantations or shaman spells
to ward off what I dread.”
the only option for one who seeks a path of peace and truth…
“I might
rise and seek some other hope,
another faith in which to live again.”
Need I say it…love it!
lianne, 5 months ago
Oh Summayyah my dear dear friend – you have sooooo touched my heart with your comment and the depth of your understanding! It’s almost a miracle to me. Faith in anything – and particularly in the spiritual domain – is a life journey and one has to re-examine where we have placed our focus don’t we? Love you!
Janine Peterson, 5 months ago
Oh lianne….that was so incredibly intense, i feel your essence within the lines. I know you are so much closer to the truth than what this poem conveyed. This may sound trite, but my Dad always used to say “today is not a dress rehearsal for tomorrow, this might be the last one you get, so thank God and enjoy it like it’s your last” He died 12 years ago, I still hear him, he’s fine and I can’t wait to see him again. Faith is knowing that we are protected by the light..always.:)
devotee1, 5 months ago
“…one ember still retains a spark,
some light, some spirit of myself
from which Phoenix like, I might
rise…”
I have no doubt, whatsoever, that you will!
lianne in reply to Janine Peterson’s comment, 5 months ago
My dad died 16 years ago, my husband 7 – so yes, we have to find a faith that goes deeper than our childlike faith, that gives us something to truly believe in besides false gods! Yes too – we are protected by the light! Thank you so much Janine!!
lianne in reply to devotee1’s comment, 5 months ago
Joe dear dear heart – do not worry, actually my faith is quite strong – it just isn’t the faith I had as an innocent child who expected the answer always to be yes. And I like many in our hectic world have perhaps been at least tempted by some “idols” and have had to find a more reasoned belief system, a faith that truly enlightens. I thank you my friend – for your concern and your understanding, Joe. I know I can count on you always. Much love!
greeneyedlady, 5 months ago
You have used amazingly powerful imagery to convey such a “simple” message….that there are no easy answers to life’s questions, but there are answers, it’s all a matter of what we believe at our core…this is a hard poem to read, I found myself wanting to turn away, but the images were too powerful to allow that! My hat is off to you, my friend, what a great piece of writing!
lianne in reply to greeneyedlady’s comment, 5 months ago
Yes Lisa it is – and sometime during our adulthood we have to define what that is that we believe in or we can get sucked into “false idols” or sacrifice ourselves on the altar of false values. Or you can read this as not letting the terrible disappointments, traumas, hurts of our lives keep us from finding that core. Thank you so very much Lisa, my friend – you are profoundly wise!
saleire, 5 months ago
Ah the God of childhood…..like a kiss on the knee from your mother when you hurt it….a quick prayer and you knew you were forgiven, healed, all gone. But then you grow up and find that it’s not that simple anymore…the pain is harder to bear and the God that once was so easy to find seems to be less available in that moment of pain…....but oh….in your darkest hour you will find me …...and that is true…...that light, that little spark is that God…..the one that will hold your hand again like a little child and take you up into the heavens to find love again in your heart to heal the wounds and in that moment of healing you will rise again like the phoenix and know that love…....any kind of love….is good, and though it is taken from you sometimes…it remains in your heart…..at first like a thorn that won’t heal but in time it becomes softer and melts and eventually that love is something that is part of what makes you the person you are…..so…let that loving God you knew as a child take your hand…and lead you to the healing that he is always ready to give you if you just reach our your hand to him and tell him that you need his help to turn the hurt and the love that seems lost into something wonderful again…...and He will….I know He will xxxx
lianne in reply to saleire’s comment, 5 months ago
Ah my dearest friend – and you know me well enough to know that I know that too! Yes that little spark is God – not the easy God of my childhood but one who understands what is supposed to be my journey far better than I do. And I do trust – not blindly perhaps but with full confidence, reason, hope – that if the answer I get is NO that it’s for some good purpose. You are just the most amazing, incredible loving person, Sal – and I love you! Plus, I’m an optimist (a kind of faith wouldn’t you say?) as well as a believer. So don’t worry, my dearest – I’m good!
Nancy Fischer, 5 months ago
Love you friend.
Metamorphosis, 5 months ago
Lianne, may the spark within you continue to burn bright and pure…
lianne in reply to Nancy Fischer’s comment, 5 months ago
And I you, my good friend! And thanks for that and for understanding this piece! So appreciate you, Nancy!
lianne in reply to Metamorphosis’s comment, 5 months ago
You are so very kind – and I can assure you that it does! What a very gracious thing to say – I really appreciate your comment and thank you!
Lumineux, 5 months ago
That tiny spark of which you speak can never be extinguished, even in the darkest hours that tiny flicker guides us… be it faith, or God, or hope…
Lianne, you have such a wonderful way of reaching down so deep and plucking out the essence of all that is elusive and unutterable to me.
lianne in reply to Lumineux’s comment, 5 months ago
Marion, my very dear friend, I’m just overwhelmed by the graciousness of your comment. It is true that in dark hours we have to look within for the light and keep believing that whatever the trial may be, there is a lesson for good contained in it! I appreciate you so much my dear friend! Thank you!
Gary Crandall, 5 months ago
This is one of epic proportions, Lianne… like a classic Puccini opera… deep and powerful and moving… something that could only be written at the end of one’s life, rather than the beginning, and is the result of all the experiences and dashed hopes of maturity… every phrase resonates with passion… and from all the comments you’ve gotten, it reaches some deep emotions in the reader… such a soulful, warm, and intelligent woman… why couldn’t all the world be as enlightened as you?
lianne in reply to Gary Crandall’s comment, 5 months ago
Gary I am so deeply moved, touched beyond words, by your comment. You know how I feel about your writing my friend – it resonates with me too. You have truly understood this piece at such an intimate level – and I appreciate that so very much. Thank you for such a lovely, if really undeserved, compliment!
Mariaan Krog, 5 months ago
Like you, I have thought about it so many times this past year and the answer I received every time was that He is still the same God. As a child I knew Him as a child does, with bright eyed anticipation of miracle working stuff! But now I know Him as the True Word, the Care Giver, the One that knows me the best. The One that cares for me enough to send me on my way to my dreams.
Your writing has evoked so many childhood memories Lianne. I thought about my days as a career woman, my brief relationships, my late husband, my only child’s birth too – when I have experienced God’s presence in so many different forms! And now that I am so much older, how I perceive and experience His presence in a more dignified way!
Thanks for this piece! You have done it again: got into my head, read my inner thoughts & emotions and opened it for all to see! Lianne, you are brilliant! How good you are.
lianne in reply to Mariaan Krog’s comment, 5 months ago
No Mariaan, how good you are!! Oh yes, God is good indeed but I see Him now with more reasoned faith having once in a while perhaps given into “false idols” or allowed myself to be sacrificed on some altar of materialism or greed or obsession – whatever. Now I know that He – that spark within me – is always there and ready to provide an answer if I will only listen. Thank you my very dear friend!
Rachael Hope, 5 months ago
Oh my gosh. so so powerful. I was just ready to burst into tears and write to you saying, please, please don’t ever lose your spirit and then these lines gave me such hope
“from the ash of burning heart,
one ember still retains a spark,”
Thank you for including those; if not I fear, I would have been broken xxxxx
lianne in reply to Rachael Hope’s comment, 5 months ago
I’ve missed your work, Rachael, my dear friend. And I’ve just plain missed YOU! Thank you and I’m working on it! Don’t worry – it’s all good in the end, dear Rachael.
lianne in reply to Dwayne Boyd’s comment, 5 months ago
Sometimes I’m an idiot – I forgot to hit the reply button Dwayne – I’m so sorry!
ianne, 9 days ago
Oh it really is Dwayne – I could not have said that better! Nor is life or faith as simple as when we were children – there are “other gods” out there aren’t there of whom we need beware?? Thank you so very much my friend. You’ve been doing some pretty amazing stuff yourself lately!!!
ECGardner, 5 months ago
This is so very powerful and honest… It is quite moving with such vivid imagery… A beautiful piece of writing.
lianne in reply to ECGardner’s comment, 4 months ago
So sorry EC that I missed your comment – I’ve been away a while and I’m afraid it got lost along the way. I’m so very glad you liked it, that it touched you – I very much appreciate your stopping in and your lovely comment!