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Here Sat The Reagans (The master bath at the Governor's Mansion, California)

Lenny La Rue, IPA

Sacramento, United States

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Artist's Description

Yeah, I’m a bit crummy when it comes to having a little fun at someone else’s expense. I rarely do it maliciously but I guess that depends if you’re the target of my poison pen or acid tongue. But I’m not all that traditional when it comes to snide humour; I’m a lot worse. That’s why this shot is marked as “unsafe for ready at work”. Not that it’s showing anything nasty. It’s not even a nude (thank goodness considering the topic) But the things I sometimes get an urge to write just might cause someone to hurl lunch at their business desk and that’s not a good thing in an economy where getting fired may mean you won’t need that Jenny Craig diet for a while. Anyway, here’s the straight poop (pardon the pun).

If you are a Republican with a tiny sense of humour, stop reading now and you won’t hate me forever. However, if you are a Democrat, this might be a touch amusing.

So many things came to mind when the tour of the historic Governor’s Mansion led to the master bathroom. None of them were nice but a few of them did seem a bit apropos, if crass and irreverent. Considering Ronald Reagan lived here for a few months before Nancy pulled the plug on this downtown Sacramento CA location, here is a countdown of the top five titles for this shot I rejected:

5) The Buckeroo REALLY Stops Here
4) “Ronnie, you jerk! You left the seat up again so help me out of this damned monstrosity!”
3) Here Shat The Gipper
2) "Ronald-freakin-Reagan, WAKE UP before you pee on the wall again, damn it!”

and the Numero Uno rejected title of this photo:
1) The TRUE Origin Of Ronald Reagan’s “Trickle Down Theory”

Check out the cool toilet. I wish I had one of those cutout seats in MY bathroom. I wouldn’t be all that fond of the artwork tho. I might need to know what it meant and spend most of my time looking at it upside down and wondering. It would be a royal pain to clean too. I could be a bit weirded out by the flushing thingie too. Do you push/pull up or pull/push down? But worst of all was something I only noticed when looking very carefully at all the shots: there’s no toilet paper holder so obviously there’s no toilet paper handy. How in the world….? Nevermind.

I think the tub is a safety hazard. What do you hang onto climbing in and out? The odd 2-fingered job on the wall looks like a soap holder that didn’t go to prison drop to the soap more than a couple times. I guess if you’re rich enough and know soap gets paid for by TAXPAYERS anyway, you may as well throw it away when it gets down to half size and falls into the freakin’ tub with you. And it could be my imagination but do those bath towels look more like the size of hand towels? I wonder if that’s why you get two shots at drying your freezing rear if you use both the stingy little buggers. Or they could be SUPREME GOVERNOR SIZED wash clothes and the wall hook is designed for a normal bath towel. Who knows?

You can’t see it but there’s no overflow drain. “James? Run me a bath, would you?” Twenty minutes later, the Governor’s wondering why rain is falling inside the first floor of a 5-story building and NOBODY’S confessing to asking James for squat. Don’t forget, some of the people using this 30-ton iron kettle were KIDS. (Some of you know why I know I said that already. The rest, please stand by.)

And to the right, doesn’t that shower look a bit modern for the design of the room? I wonder who got tired of falling out of the bath and installed a way so you didn’t have to soak in your own dirty water every single day.

Finally, the touch of actual NICENESS in this rant comes from a mother’s small attempt to make such a fishbowl of a house more like a home. Someone’s mom painted the clawfoot tub’s toenails red. Awwwww!!!! I forgot who the wonderful curator said did it but it was done out of pure love. Well, either that or some governor’s little girl refused to climb into ‘the maul of that horrid monster with the evil feet lurking in the bathroom’. I can almost hear her, stuck all alone in that bathroom, legislators downstairs arguing and mommy hiding outside from all their cigar smoke:

“James? Would you bring me some toilet paper, please?”

Shot was appreciatively favourited in Image Writing, Northern California Style, and Bathrooms Groups. Thank you all. :-) Taken using a Nikon D80 with its 18-55mm Nikkor lens.

Artwork Comments

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