LeislEgan

I am currently in NZ, Auckland actually. On a holiday. Good for the rest and all. In a moment of inspiration slash stupidity, I decided to stay at a backpackers. Hmmm.

I am not twenty, I am not a size 8, and I don’t wear fake tan. So you’re probably wondering why I’m at a backpackers. So am I.

I think I was first clued into the fact that I’m meant for the finer things in life, probably the second I stepped into the place.

I crawled into bed after travelling all day at about 2am. About 45 mins later, Andy-the-guy-who-sleeps-across-from-me, came in. He sprayed himself liberally with cheap deoderant and crawled into bed. After a bout of asthma and asphyxiation, I finally started to kip off, when two french guys came in. The spoke to eachother in volumes usually reserved for an elderly relative with a hearing problem. I ignored them until a camera flash went off. I whirled around to find them in their underwear taking pics of eachother. As you do. All I could do was laugh.

Then everything settled down. But Andy, who really felt like making an impression, decided to have a nightmare and yell out in a strong Northern English accent. I finally fell asleep about an hour later. Then the next thing you know, four hours whizzed by and it was time to get up. Bright eyed and bushy tailed I went to take a shower which dispenses water in thirty second bursts.

Next time-motel. feck the effing expense.