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'Abrupt'

The intense heat enveloping the room was almost unbearable, I struggled with consciousness before inevitably sinking under. We were outbound from; the airport? Somewhere up ahead a road sign calmly indicated the way to Strathpine. Then at once, flashes of red began to stab away at my vision, building up into a crescendo and then; black.

My eyes snapped open for only a moment, a torrent of white light burst forth from behind them; painting the walls stark, then I slipped away once more. As the days went down I staggered about the place in short frenetic bursts, wearied, lost in suffering.

I am unsure as to whether it was some side effect of the sickness, or the implications of my decision sinking in; but I found myself suspended in time again. Consumed by what was now a well antiquated sense of frustration.

It’s long been established that this madness will be my undoing, it is hardwired into my very soul, it would seem. I know that to break free it’s as easy as walking through the right door, picking the right direction, being on the right flight; but what to do with timing? The cycle that began as I turned from a simple set of goals, (in despair, for fear they were no longer relevant) I’ve come to understand must have it’s closure; if I am to truly escape from this, if I am to thrive again. How could I have run so blind, and so far? What could be more relevant?

Like a petulant child I am abrupt and fickle, I’ll kick in the walls of reality, bend space and time if I have to. Still as I was, as an eighteen year old; I am passionate and reckless. I found embodied, the image of my dreams beneath the western sky.

My alter ego falls from grace in love that’s simply endless.

'Abrupt'

Laszlo Totka

Sydney, Australia

  • Artist
    Notes
Laszlo Totka

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