What’s wrong with you?
Nothin? Doesn’t look like nothing. Looks like you got a sore back or something?
Na. Not really.
Well you’re moving kind of funny.
You are not. I just saw the way you lowered yourself into that chair. And you’re sitting at a funny angle. Your boyfriend not gentle with you last night?
Ha Ha. Very funny.
So what’s wrong with ya?
As it happens my arse is a little bit sore.
Oh? Really? From what?
I think I’ve got a dose of Tubular Biles.
You’ve got what?
You know. Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Biles. Piles.
What are you talkin about?
Mike Oldfield told me. I met him.
Told you what?
That he had a hemorrhoid named after him.
You mean Mike Oldfield the musician?
You idiot. That was an asteroid.