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How can one feel so lonely,
not want the company of others ?

Everything feels so monotonous.

I feel like I live in a box sometimes
While everyone around me is joyful and free. xx

May 26, 2011.

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  • Arco Iris  R
    Arco Iris Rabout 3 years ago

    May I wave hi from my box?
    I know this feeling toooo well and I hate it.
    The only good thing that stays in my mind always
    is that tomorrow is another day.
    Stay tight and watch that dark cloud
    float away.

  • Thank you, Iris.
    “Hello” from my box to you……. and sending you a virtual ((hug)).
    It’s just been one of those days……
    everyone seems happy and joyous, and I feel tired and blah.
    I do put a good act on for the kids though….
    I smile with them and hug them and love them….
    I just wish I felt truely joyful…….. like everyone else is.

    It will pass, and it’s feels nice to know that we aren’t the only ones who go through days like this…..

    – LauraBroussard

  • Arco Iris  R
    Arco Iris Rabout 3 years ago

    I know what you mean. I love flowers and they used to be my hobby. My husband does also. I had a green thumb. All of the sudden I lost interest in them. I would follow my husband all around the nurseries of every store we went to like a zombie. I only followed without looking at my favorite plants. I would wonder why he felt so much passion for the flowers when I very well knew that they were mine also. I kept on following and following and wondering why for a whole year. Finally I was taken off a certain antidepressant which ironically was causing the depression and now I have fun looking at the stores’ plants again. My green thumb has abandoned me, but who cares? My husband has it so he plants for both of us. But it was an awful feeling. That is only one experience of so many. So I do understand that you see everyone is happy and you wonder "why can’t I be also? "
    If you see me off line for a while, I have also tucked myself in my box. But one day at a time. And I’m glad that you put up a smile for your kids. They need it. Just make sure you get your much needed rest which helps a lot also. And of course, I WILL not ever tell you to SNAP out of it, for it isn’t your fault. It is a physical real life condition.

  • Luckily, no one has told me to just “SNAP out of it”…..
    thank goodness for that.
    I feel like a zombie alot lately……. I can relate well with the example you shared with me here…. for me, it’s photography… I think the thrill of it has planted itself in the recesses of my mind.
    I just get so frustrated…. I actually tried to draw what was in my mind’s vision, then realized they were just crude, rudementary pencil scratches and my vision would never truely be realized unless I went back to College.
    There’s so much beauty trapped inside my mind, but because I can’t draw very well, my photographic, as well as my gift for poetry, has all but vanished.
    It’s all so depressing.
    AND, it’s almost 100 degrees Fahrenheight here in Texas…..
    I for one don’t want to be outside in that.
    Wahhhh, wahhhh, wahhhh……….. sometimes that’s all I feel like I do here on RB………… then, that makes me disappear from it as well.
    I tell you, it MUST be a sickness…. and I have taken anti-depressants in the past, maybe I need them again.
    Thanks for sharing with me again, Iris….
    may we both find our passions again xxxxxxxxoooooxxxoooo

    – LauraBroussard

  • oscarelizondo
    oscarelizondoabout 3 years ago

    You are not alone, many of us hide in dark corners and ingest the humility of being alone, but we don’t always come out to the light in plain view. I for one write about it and much more, loosing my self as making others sometimes believe I am so happy. A false point to make, trying to see myself one of the walking living, though I feel that I have failed and died and living the life of a zombie as you discribed. I’ve read your work, watched your progress from the ill habits, and still do it in silence. Some people view the lonely as a sickness as I have found out, so I pretend to be alive, so cheer up, many of us here have watch you grow, hide, smile, cry, and sometimes we cry with you in a low voice because we feel it all around us. You keep up your chin, you are not alone, stay the course of believing in change that comes to us all very slow, and one of these days you will stumble unpon someone that will make you smile. Grasp that moment, come out of the box, make the move, before the cardboard box breaks from the moisture, and don’t be surprise to feel alive again. Take the wind, the sun, and walk amongst them all, be proud and good things come to those that have the patience and the know how to find it. Smile, there are more lonely people watching silently waiting to see you suceed, that they will come out from the shadows. Do not loose hope, there is always someone worst off they we are, and feel blessed that wisdom has come knocking at the door, know when to open it and see the light come in.

  • You cheered me up, Oscar…… this was so nice of you to share with me. ((hugs))
    and I’m feeling a little better already……… or, was it all that chocolate I just ate ? LOL !!!
    This too shall pass…..
    it’s just frustrating and monotonous at times, but you are absolutely right, I have a LOT to be thankful for.
    Thanks for reaching out, my friend xoxo

    – LauraBroussard

  • autumnwind
    autumnwindabout 3 years ago

    well wow to the dialog back and forth here. I would expect many more comments, but possibly as the wonderful comment above states, so many will just quietly read and sit back. you are so not alone, not even close. there are so many. I do not even know what is wrong with me, have always been the black sheep, odd one out and all that. from grammar school to high school to college to soccer moms (oh they’re a real hoot) to now. happy for me, only comes in moments. the joy shared with a child. giggling over something really stupid. eating something yummy. a smile from a stranger. being on RB right here right now…so on and so forth. as far as the real world goes, and all the people in my life, family and so called friends…they do not even know me. so alone, so used to it, until one day I just become overwhelmed and shut it all out, along with any light. have had a bad year…but so have many. no excuses, I am different than those I know, but here, with you, and the few who understand, well, it is a personal and beautiful sharing. As far as your write dear Laura, I feel loneliest when I am with lots of people. I prefer my solitude any day. And to Iris, I lost my desire to cook! My husband is a gourmet cook, and my kids like his cooking better (as do I lol) so I finally said screw it! When I lost my dog earlier this year, it was difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning. That was mid-January, I am just getting over that, as he was the first one I had to tend to every day. Ok, wow, I wrote a novel here, sorry. Anyway, we all have our problems, and loneliness is more prevalent than you realize. Someone you know ‘faking’ it, maybe just as lonely as you..or me. Love you darling friend and wishing you lighter, brighter days with a splash of laughter, great joy and so much love.
    Hugging you tight, shar XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

  • LOL, soccer moms….. AA friends, the list goes on…. so called friends.
    I know how you feel, I think we wear the same shoes from time to time, Shar !

    The nice thing is that I can sense a friendship from bullshit, and I KNOW that you ARE my dear friend…… I love you, and I love that we don’t have to be alone. My best friends are the ones I’ve made here, with you.
    I just thank you so much for understanding, and sharing your story, because as you said (and it is so very true), there are those amongst us that even though they view this little poem, and it has touched them, _
    many will just quietly read and sit back. you are so not alone, not even close. there are so many._
    I am feeling better today.
    And, I wish you brighter, happier days ahead as well…..
    and, as Rosie told me, remember, you are Never Alone xxxxxxxooooxoooo

    – LauraBroussard

  • MtnRainbows
    MtnRainbowsabout 3 years ago

    I can already see you have lots of support… but I totally understand. We’re in the same state it seems.

  • hello Sandy :)
    I love the way friends are sharing here on my little post about loneliness.
    It’s good to know we are not alone……….. and things DO get BETTER :))xx

    – LauraBroussard

  • SimplyRed
    SimplyRedabout 3 years ago

    hi sweetheart …we all have our box…it’s when we choose to lift the lid and peek out that we realise …everyone has one also ….I see the other comments and know that you are cared about ….hoping you find your sunshine again just under the flap xxxx

  • Tis but a moment or day, or week….. but, eventually the clouds break, and beautiful, soft rays of light shine down upon us and bring us comfort. xxx
    thank you for being my friend xxxxx

    – LauraBroussard

  • Norma-jean Morrison
    Norma-jean Mor...about 3 years ago

    my box is wearing out i am hear to say Hello I love you friend and i have missed you all my love Normaje..And that is true

  • Normaje, let me give you a virtual ((HUG)), and I know you know how these feelings feel as well….. but things do get BETTER xoxoxo
    All my love, sweetheart xx

    – LauraBroussard

  • linskudd
    linskuddabout 3 years ago

    A heartfelt write young Laura. Look after yourself. I send my thoughts and wishes to you across the oceans. And, now I return to my corner! :o) xx

  • I recieved them as a soft gentle sea breeze xxxx
    Thank you, my friend :))xoxo

    – LauraBroussard

  • LauraBroussard
    LauraBroussardabout 3 years ago

    To all my friends here who have posted, I love that we can have this dialogue, it is therapeutic and soul cleansing, and it breaks the dark clouds above, and lets beautiful sunrays shine down.
    I love you all xxxxx

  • SimplyRed
    SimplyRedabout 3 years ago

    always will stay good friends xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    – LauraBroussard

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