Now on sale, we at DLSN are proud to offer you the original Apple! No, not some pathetic name for a child but a piece of Earth history! Ok, a piece of it has been bitten off, twice. But don’t let that stop you from considering it as a valuable monument on your coffee table! It’s the ultimate in memorabillia! Imagine when your friends come over and see this well conserved fruit in it’s own doroholic-delictosis chamber that it is the apple that was there first. It has only had it’s first two owners take a bite, each. All other owners have either taken little snippets and put them in salads and tried to pass them off as “expensive ingredients” but this apple cannot be eaten. Nevermind the mummified flesh and the embalmed skin that could break as soon as you look at it, this apple is more relic than it is retarded. The embalming process that was taken over from the ancient Egyptions, then the gromites then the new age technologies here at the labs at DLSN can offer you this near mint speciment of not just gargantuant spectical but biblical! It’s bigger than Ben Hur but it can fit in the palm of your hand! Amazing! How much would you expect to pay for a relic that goes way beyound any signed record item? Well, dont go jumping into your shallow slush funds as this item is expensive. Exclusive, rare, rotting (slowly). It is an item that is saying “Buy me, buy me”. If you listen closly you could be mistaken for hearing it mermer “Why won’t they let me die?”. There isn’t a defining word that can give this item justice. That would be just an original sin.