Penny's White Shoes....Death of Innocence....
This was originally published in one of my journals. I’m moving most of the stories over to the writings area. Please don’t feel you need to comment again.
If I have to look back, I can.
It’s really always there, my worst memory, and anything can trigger it. It makes my breath shallow, heart beat pounding, fast. Quick tears unfocus my eyes.
My sister’s dead.
I can, if I choose, remember almost every detail of that crash.
I’m 15. My hair is long and straight and brown. My sisters are in the back seat squabbling. Penny is 11 and Shelley is 12. It’s Father’s Day & I’m so glad we’re going home. I’m so tired.
How can I stand this? I don’t think I can. Am I screaming? Why am I screaming, it sounds fake. Momma is, I can hear her. I don’t want to go back near the car. Don’t look. Please, God, please don’t let this be real. Oh…no, no, no, Daddy is still there kneeling over Penny.
I saw her. I saw him pull her out. I had to step over her to get out of the car. Don’t think about that.
Oh, Daddy. He’s crying, I can see his shoulders shaking. I’ve never seen him cry. What am I suppose to do? Mom is still screaming. Where is Shelley? Please, let me go. I know you’re trying to help. I need to get to my mother and Shelley. I have to. I’m fine. You don’t understand, I can handle this, I don’t know how, but, Oh My God, I know they can’t. Stop that! Please, don’t make me fight you, please. I’m fine.
It’s misty raining, why are all these people just staring at us? All these cars, where did they all come from? Please stop staring…Please, Oh God, Mom? Please, Mom. I’m fine, Oh, Mom. How long have we been here?
They’re taking her. The ambulance. Penny’s white shoes, are the last thing I see of her…....wet, with rain and blood. That’s her. That was her.
I’m not sure I can take comments, but I’ll try….Cathartic…right? This is cathartic….
This is dedicated to my sister Michele
...and Penny…....August 19, 1959 – June 20, 1971
Bootiewootsy
Beautiful Ginger…
Gili Orr
IT MADE ME SHIVER…
windwalker
No comment could express the feeling in my heart that your writing triggered.
joyousmoon
I will need to comment further at some other time…the memories stirred are deep…my heart goes out to you, brave child who endured the worst!
phantomlimb
Completely drew me in. Very heartwarming and captivating….
Nigel Bangert
Something you will always remember, but sharing it and putting it straight in your own mind will make it more bearable I hope. Some will be able to relate to it from their own lives and some will thank God it wasn’t them that went through this. Very well written.