Minuscule, membranous and chilling.
That voice crawled from the jagged shadows that leaked from my cousin’s closet.
“Help me…” It pleaded. My fear overwhelmed the physics of movement. To this day I would swear the door began to open.
My idiot cousin slept soundly but sound had been siphoned from me, save my heartbeat that I prayed would awaken my aunt or someone with the ability to take away this unreality.
“Please…”
I don’t remember falling asleep. As soon as I stumbled from my slumber, all alone as everyone was already feeding on the morning, I borrowed courage from the light.
Nothing.
When I asked my cousin he said I must have been dreaming, but my aunt looked at me knowingly. I wasn’t the only witness.
We never spoke of it, she and I. Just waited unconsciously to see if there would be another. There never was.
deliriousgirl
Minuscule, membranous and chilling.
JFC absolutely terrific beginning!!!!!!! It draws you slitheringly into it.
kutkolors replied
That is what I was going for! Good. Thanks!!
yt sumner
oooh. This is so boogedy. It makes me pull the covers right up to my nose.
kutkolors replied
Ha! It still makes me pull the covers up to my nose, if I allow myself to think about it for too long. Glad you liked it, a real compliment coming from you.
Solar Zorra
Oh yeah…..welcome to my world. This kind of shit has been happening to me all my life. I could write a book on these type of happenings…......and it just doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, you know it’s real!!! Good story, inspired me to dig up some old memories, Thanks.
kutkolors replied
You’re welcome, glad you like the tale. You must share one of yours, when you can.
WanderingAuthor
I don’t think I’ll be sleeping tonight… That was far too effectively written to let anyone sleep after reading it.
kutkolors replied
Nice to run the rampart of emotion every once in a while, isn’t it?
bchrisdesigns
I guess I am so used to writing and reading horror stories, that this didn’t scare me. It was sort of humorous, actually, because I can relate to it.
kutkolors replied
That’s funny, no pun. Relating works.
PJ Ryan
yes, incredible opening descriptive writing ..
and this ..
all alone as everyone was already feeding on the morning, I borrowed courage from the light
kutkolors replied
Thanks PJ! I really appreciate your comments, they mean a lot.
Martin Sanchez
Awesome, the opening really does draw you in (in my case pulls you in. XD)
kutkolors replied
Thanks Martin. Draws, pulls, pushes, as long as you are enticed to soldier on…
Martin Sanchez
Yep, I’am adding you too.
kutkolors replied
Nicely done. :)
Cassey
Total creep fest. Love it.
kutkolors replied
Never thought I would actually take ‘creep fest’ as a compliment, lol. Thank you very much. You rock.
wigs
great starting line…. the sort of thing that would keep me awake all night, great work
kutkolors replied
It really kept me up all night! Glad you liked it.
Soph-La
mysterious, compelling, i thought it was brilliant
kutkolors replied
That is a lovely compliment, thank you so very much!
julien
fabulous. I read it quickly once; felt creepy and had to re-read to work out why I felt creepy! well done!
kutkolors replied
I absolutely love going back to something a second time and discovering anew what was laid just beneath my initial exploration…and going back again! Thanks for coming back.
koekiemonstah
Great writing, i’ve some writings too, but they are still on my old computer… soo will upload them soon ;-)
but i guess it never will be as good as this one, noce done!!
kutkolors replied
Everything has its eloquence, and for different reasons. What helps me is not to compare but to identify. I look forward to reading some of your work.
kutkolors replied
in english :^D
enchantednight...
This is beautiful!
kutkolors replied
Thank you for your comment! I love your smile in your avatar.
manutdwriter
It is really good and interesting. I really like your writing style. Could someone please comment on something of mine?
kutkolors replied
Thank you.
ToniTiger
I thought that it was very good and it like i was there. The images that came to mind as I read it thanks for letting me read ur poem
kutkolors replied
You are welcome (to read anything I post and publish). Thank you for taking the time to comment!
KEITH R. WILL...
creepy indeed
kutkolors replied
Which is sometimes great to read. Thanks Keith.
aaeiinnn
not usually into scary stuff but this is impelling
i want you to change the ending a little so that you can elaborate and extend the story
kutkolors replied
Eventually.
AndrewJP
The first sentence serves as a great hook. Really nicely done.
kutkolors replied
Thank you very much. I am into your novel idea now. Reading slowly.
devotee1
Delightfully spooky!!!
kutkolors replied
Thanks! :D
sunsette15
It’s good to know I’m not alone…nice write and an edge of your seat kind of feel if it was an indepth movies or book