"strawberry wine" makes my heart sob

today my soul is dark with agony
and that song is stumbling on my radio
damn thing burns my guts like fire at times

we were sixteen and silly girls
holding hands around the skating rink
giggling about everything
“strawberry wine” again on the radio
(our request)
(i can’t hear it without crying over you)
sometimes we fell but we got back up
the whole time grinning
innocent and shining
your smile could light up the night sky

i miss you girl
like you don’t even know
best friends like you are never forgotten

we mimed microphones with hair brushes
dreams of being famous singers
and pretend runway walked down your stairs
we just knew we would be models someday
tripping on our hooker heels
always wearing too much makeup

you were so beautiful with your eyes
alight with secret pain
and girlhood
the color so alive with green
it haunts me

spilling your dark fears and your memories
to my aching heart and tears
i know you
better than anyone
i remember the agony when you told me
all the things that he did to you
little helpless girl child
my soul bled for you
and i knew the weight of your hurt
because i had been there too

i saw your daughter today
eleven years old and so stunning
you had her so young!

she is
like a gazelle waiting to grow
to dance
i burst into tears
because she looked just like you
and i heard strawberry wine playing
in my head

she said you carry my picture everywhere

they say you aren’t doing good
that he beats you and cuts you
they say you stay there and let him
damnit! i hate him! each and every time
he hurts you it breaks me

you drifted so far from me
he took you away because he just can’t take
that you loved someone other than him
and
my eyes
they bleed tears of sheer red for you
i love you
poetically
beautifully
i always did
what has he done to you?!
the drugs have left you withered
unrecognizable
shrunken and nearly dead
and you are out of my reach
so far from me
your daughter needs you!

how many times can my heart break over you?

kimberley
talk to me…….

strawberry wine and you
are some of my dearest memories
and i carry of picture of you too

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"strawberry wine" makes my heart sob by 


forgive me this one. I normally don’t post such personal things but today I am beside myself with emotion and had no other outlet but this place. :( I know this is long, but please bear with me.
What do you do for someone you love so much? I spent most of last night crying and now I am lost. I feel helpless.

Comments

  • Sybille Sterk
    Sybille Sterkalmost 4 years ago

    What a sad story and how difficult to live with. Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do and nothing you’re allowed to do. Lots of love and hugs. xoxo

  • umbra
    umbraalmost 4 years ago

    for all the pain here your words remain majestic in their loving…

  • billfox256
    billfox256almost 4 years ago

    Tremendous feelings poured out beautifully!!!!, Bill

  • devotee1
    devotee1almost 4 years ago

    Very sad…and sadly too familiar. I have lived this pain intimately, and know your sorrow. I keep praying for a miracle.

  • Andrew  Bailey
    Andrew Baileyalmost 4 years ago

    Oh my dear, dear Christie. This is so sad. T lose touch with someone whom you love is bad enough but to lose touch through what seems to be another’s cruelty is just awful. Is there nothing anyone can do for your friend. Can her daughter not take proceeding against this man who beats and cuts your friend? Battered wife syndrome is juts terrible because, most of the time, the woman blames herself for all the wrong in her life when, really, the perpetrator should be under lock and key on a 5 to 15 stretch for grievous bodily harm.

    You ask that we excuse you this piece; that you feel helpless! Of course we forgive you as you had a need to unload to someone. Who better than your RB chums. You do not have to be powerless. Are there battered wives refuges over there? Do women have advocates who will speak up in their defence? Try dumping the guy in the shit anonymously. Your friend is, meanwhile, in my prayers

  • Dawn M. Becker
    Dawn M. Beckeralmost 4 years ago

    Oh WOW Christie…how sad…love can be so painful and to know someone you love so much is being hurt and there’s not much you can do, cuts like a knife!!! Your words are so deep!!!

  • YouBet
    YouBetalmost 4 years ago

    Poor beautiful dears, both of you!!

  • Kristin Reynolds
    Kristin Reynoldsalmost 4 years ago

    :( I’m so sorry; for everyone involved. you took my back in time to me and my girl goofing off and being weird. I’m sorry. all the love and hugs from me, winding their way to you, love.
    xoxoxo

  • Tony Wilder
    Tony Wilderalmost 4 years ago

    So painful Christie, it appears you are doing the best you can do which is be there for her. Wonderfully written but deeply painful write.

  • Blake Steele
    Blake Steelealmost 4 years ago

    I must echo what Eric said, for all the pain your words are potent medicine, shining compassion in the midst of selfish madness. Powerful writing in its naked honest real.

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