Resident(s) of 133G Chanticleer Village Drive
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, 29579
This movement, if you will, brings about a time where laptops are being anthropomorphized to teach your soon-to-be children the importance of social networking, and fair online play. Yes, cyber-bullying will become obsolete in a world where computers can cradle the concerns of an overweight child who spends his life watching other people live their own shallow, pointless, lack luster realities. Really, what are the implications of taking over the world with technology? We ask you to think, how much worse will the implications be if we don’t take this time to brainwash every glossy eyed and acid washed cranium?
Dear sweet creature, don’t worry your competitive capitalistic mind any further, we have no interest in bringing about the entropy of the corporation of American education… In fact, we feel like you should have more mac laptops to go with that Hershey’s bar you’re currently writing with!
Sleep sweet in knowing that in the wake of this period of, modernization, we will have left your cities dimly lit by the embers of what once was. The standard teaching method, the currently declining norm for social interaction, will all be a nothing more than a forgotten file left in the garbage can.
Let us guide your hand to that “Empty Trash” tab, and together we can bring in a world where you won’t even need to worry yourself with things like emotions, depth, and character.
It’ll be the most beautiful suicide you’ve ever survived.
The Toaster Oven Company