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The Fall; Passions and alienations

These days it seems so inescapable, I feel changed, so blatant, so vulgarly obtuse.
Inescapably obtuse.
Sticking to a group of hundreds of people who I wished not to be, unwittingly; slowly
I hate this self-imposed, alienating restriction.
I miss being in the background
taking notes,
mulling,
breathing; I have space to breathe
not when the weight of my mind is on my chest, dead weight, formerly
other people’s weight
that I could take up
and let go of when I
dared.
How could I change so quickly (or better, who do I blame?),
I don’t want to ask.
Thoughts only bring trouble, yes;
Knowledge is power, but knowledge is sticky, a bog of clues and contraries,
facts that are pulling me in until my ankles weep,
knees bend,
hip bones stay static in a pool of discontented entrails
of soggy cured skins.
Yes, what better than to drown! a choking splutter on a dying word,
A word, sweet, soft, serpentine,
Whisper;
Original sin, final pride,
An enticing invitation to
another
world,
of which there’s no return;
but to thy self enthrall’d

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The Fall; Passions and alienations by 


Reactions of despair to intense inadequacies, the usual.

xx
s-a

student, learner, art and light lover xx

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Comments

  • Thomas Ingram
    Thomas Ingramalmost 4 years ago

    “I have space to breath” SPELLINGZ
    I like your writings :)
    Although I have no clue where all of this is coming from, you seem happy when I see you!

  • I occasionally do that one, silly e, I should actually spell check late at night. Being out-going around other people is partly what this is about, but regardless my brain is always an odd place in that I will often end up with thoughts like this from seemingly little provocation, it’s just how I am I guess

    – kossimarsalsa

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