A close mate of mine made a throw away comment that he does not
“work at relationships”
It sent me into a spin, cause in the same breath he said that I do…
I then said, that “I dont” and then changed it to “i do”, until i decided to shut up and think about it.
What he was getting at was that he has relationships with various people but does not feel he has to work at them. He either wants to deal with people or not.
But does not feel he has to evaluate a relationship and then take remedial action.
Which takes me to the follow on comment, “That I do” work at relationships.
This is an insight to me cause I believe it to be true, but not conciously….
I dont sit down and evaluate my relationships with people, rather I feel I am more empathetic towards others, and adjust my tempo/actions as required.
Why? I believe these are just normal social skills (or it could be due to “consequences” which is a different topic I’ll write about soon)
Take today for example, my normal day consists of greeting everyone, and maintaining a friendly demenour with those about me. Today was a shitty day though,
and all about me I felt tension…couldnt put my finger on it…sitting back now and writing objectively, everyone around me adjusted to my demenour..
Those I have friendly banter with, now were concerned and offered help.
Does this imply that they are working at their relationship with me…
I kinda hope so
As for my mate, well he kinda doeswork at relationshops in his own way … its just not obvious which is the way he likes it.
Just a bit of food for thought with good mates