Hot Air

“I need you here now Kate, dear girl.”

“Convince me…dear boy.”

“Look, I’m sorry I left like that…FUCK, why am I apologising? I told you I wouldn’t get a divorce. You have to keep on don’t you?”

“I wasn’t exactly ‘keeping on’ Abner, you old bastard. You can’t have it all your own way. That dried-up witch…”

“Now hang on, that’s my wife you’re talking about.”

“Yes, and your words you silly sod. Look, let’s not get heated.”

“It’s so unlike you Kate. You’re so cool.”

“Yeah well, I felt like being unlike me for a change. My ‘coolness’ as you put it is rather too handy for you sometimes. Anyway, I want to see you. Either here or there. What’s your special need of me all of a sudden?”

“Don’t be like that Kate. I’d love to see you and…I need a hairdryer.”

“Had a transplant, have you? Don’t they have shops in Iceland?”

“Kate, I need your hairdryer with you attached.”

“He does love me. What’s the big secret?”

“It’s the discovery of a lifetime Kate. I…we…are going…”

“You.”

“…to be famous. I’ve found the skeleton of a Spiny-Backed Notfish frozen in the ice. It’s going to call for delicate handling.”

“Those spiny-backed creatures usually do.”

“This is millions of years old Kate. This is gold dust.”

“And an important scientific discovery of course.”

“You know me so well Kate.”

“Why’s it called a Notfish?”

“Oh that’s just my name for it. The Latin name escapes me. You see, strictly speaking it’s not a fish as such.”

“Neither fish nor fowl.”

“Something like that. So, are you going to help me or not?”

“How can I resist?”

“You won’t regret it Kate. We’ll talk about the…other thing.”

“The other thing? The divorce you mean. Say it Abner!”

“The divorce. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. We’ll talk about it, I promise.”

“Yeah…and make jokes.”

“You, me and the hairdryer.”

“Yeah, I’m great at thawing out dinosaurs.”

Hot Air

ian osborne

Joined January 2010

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Artist's Description

As part of an exercise in The wonderful world of words Consequences

Exerecise initiated by tuliptree

Artwork Comments

  • Mardra
  • ian osborne
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