English in France

“Two medium-rare and two well-done, s’il vous plaît.

Comment?

“TWO MEDIUM-RARE AND TWO WELL-DONE!”

“Pipe down Roger. He’s French, not deaf.”

“It really gets my goat when they pretend not to understand. Bloody Frogs. Feel like giving the twit a sharp punch on the nose.”

“Better not Rog.”

“Why’s that Ted?”

“He might croak.”

“Ha ha…bloody good…he might croak…ho ho ho.”

“Who’s the loudmouthed wanker in the cravat?”

“Roger Wootton-Bassett, our new neighbour unfortunately. Soft southern bastard! Big shot at the golf club apparently, as if anyone gives a shite. Poncy twat!”

“Don’t look now Cynthia. The ruddy-faced man with the peroxide wife. Our new neighbours.”

“French?”

“No…worse.”

“Not Dutch…poor you!”

“No…northerners. From Manchester.”

“Oh I say, what frightfully bad luck.”

English in France

ian osborne

Joined January 2010

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